Hope that doesn't sound harsh. As soon as you start giving the skids a say, they are going to start using it to their advantage. Been there, done that. When SD14 had a fight with BM, she called BD (my husband) to come get her. And vice versa. Now both of them are afraid to parent for fear she will turn against them.

Plus, kids don't have the emotional maturity to understand that they need a relationship with BOTH parents. Their peers are important, but parents are more important and need to be put first. Even if it is forcibly.

vickiemac is right. We never enforced visitation and ours turned out okay. The older they get the more difficult it is. When they get a life and friends of their own it changes things.

I remember when I was 10 my parents entering into a divorce---my dad would pick us up for the afternoon approx every other Saturday & took us back to SLEEP at home. I never thought he didn't love me--NEVER. It was better for us (age 10 and 12) to have a consistent HOME. I was stable and a good student. I WAS NOT CODDLED WITH MY OPINION---THEY DECIDED WHAT WAS BEST. Nowadays the kids are babied to no end. Sleepovers with daddy at 16 & 17-----gimme a break. What has happened is that the custodial parent wants a F FREE WEEKEND. It isn't about the kids any more.

OKAY, it was a rant. It wasn't meant to offend anyone nor directed at anyone but myself.

BM complained to CAS that the skids didn't want to come EOW...why that was an issue for them to be called, why there seriously is ever an issue in our home for them to be called we really don't understand...who knows...that is just the BM's non diagnosed mental state for ya. She made this stink anyways....ss's are 14 & 11. Hubby said to the worker, "why have the kids or BM never told me they wanted to stay home for this or that? I wouldn't have an issue with it, they are getting older now and have other things they may want to do. I don't want to say that I don't want them to come, I am just saying that I appreciate that they are getting older and have other interests and may not want to come EOW." So the worker left because hubby was normal in his way of thinking. So since that date, the worker must have called BM and said, there is no issue here, all the kids or you have to do is let him know. Case closed. SO, now that BM caused all that drama and having the worker come out over stupidity, NOT ONCE have the kids EVER not come because they had other plans. You know why? BM just thought this would be something that would hurt hubby by calling CAS thinking this was a huge issue with the kids and to have hubby blow a gasket. It back fired on her. We have told the kids over and over that they don't have to come EOW if they have plans elsewhere, just let us know. Guess what they said, "oh, BM likes to spend time with her boyfriend and do adult things EOW." So we know for sure this was just another tactic to get us riled and yet she had no intentions of keeping the kids home because this is "adult time" and we are her babysitters.

I do not beleive is going to be willing to let them have a choice. SD is almost 16 and SS is almost 12. SD will be getting a job once she hits 16. I keep telling DH he will not see her much because of work, friends, whatever. he also will not see SS either bc I am not going to allow him at the house unless SD is there. I don't trust the little turd. I think he makes up stuff to BM but I don't have the proof yet. Anyway, I will certainly be much happier if they are there less that is for sure...