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Medical Bills-Question and advise

aka's picture

My DH is court ordered to pay the medical insurance premiums and 57% of the bills that aren't covered by insurance. The BM has sole custody and my DH only has the kids EOW. The problem is that BM takes the skids to the doctor she never tells the doctors to send the bills to DH address. The bills get sent to her address with his name and she never tells my DH that she has a medical bill. She lets the bills go into collections and the collection company finally tracks him down and now his credit is ruined. In my opinion she simply is doing this to "get back at him" . Does anyone else have this problem and how in the world do you make the BM tell the doctor to send the bills to his address? So frustrating..


Colorado Girl's picture

I'm sure the dr. wants to get paid and would have no problem sending the bills to DH. They want to get paid.

I have the opposite problem. BM has ALL bills sent to DH and then it's like pulling teeth to get her to pay her portion.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

ColorMeGone2's picture

They should either change the name of the responsible party to BM or send the bills straight to DH. He cannot pay bills he does not receive, after all.

Another thing you can do to solve this problem once and for all is to file a formal and permanent change-of-address form with the post office so that all mail addressed to him (and only him) gets forwarded to your address. It's good for a year, so he would have to renew it each year if he still keeps getting mail at BM's address. Most businesses request change-of-address info from the post office, so they will see that the address has changed and should start sending to the correct address. We did this and were FLOORED at the amount of accounts BM had out in DH's name/her address after they divorced.

I personally would advise everyone to do it, even if you suspect nothing. Filing a change-of-address form with the post office so that any mail in your name is no longer sent to you ex's address can be a real eye-opener.

You can do this online at for a buck or free at the post office.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

SoFrustrated's picture


aka's picture

Geez why didn't I think about doing a change of address. I just went online and did this immediately. We will see what we get. I am sure I will Be FLOORED as well. I was so upset a couple of weeks ago. My DH and BM had been divorced over 2 years and I noticed that my DH name was on her phone. It came across on caller ID and I flipped out. Thanks again for your advise.

ColorMeGone2's picture

OMG, his name is not still on her phone is it?!

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

no validation's picture

getting collection notices cause DH didn't take the phone out of his name when he left wasn't removed till she moved. and that was 6 YEARS ago!!!!

Nothing comes easy thats worth fighting for.....thats what they tell me!

debiamia's picture

EVERY MD I have ever taken my daughter to required ME to sign permission to provide treatment and agreeing that I was responsible for any unpaid balances. They absolutely refused to get involved in who pays for what/ court ordered percentages. BM constantly told all of the skids MD's to bill us. I put a stop to it by calling all of them and sending a certified letter saying that since we had not signed accepting responsibility we would not pay. That way she had to pay and present us with the bill to collect our percentage.

TheSaneOne's picture

After we sent the BB the insurance info three times THIS YEAR ALONE - mind you it is the same insurance as last year - she called wanting our address to send the bills to = hell no! I want to see the bills to know they are for the girls not her. We paid ALL medical last year as we had an HRA and she used it up ASAP and then ran up a bunch of bills at the doctor that we didn't know about.
I say that within 10 days of HER receipt of the bill - she should send it to us, if not she would hold them all until Christmas. As such we will pay within 10 days.
My DH's ex still has his last name and her fist initial as her email, even after she remarried.

smurfy1smile's picture

I agree with debiamia. I recall agreeing to be the responsible party when you register as a patient or your child as a patient. I tried to have BF name put on the bills since he was to pay all uncovered stuff and was told since he did not live with us the billing could not be changed. Since the bill is in my name, I have to pay the whole things and then get paid back from my ex. Since BM has custody the bills should go to her. I have to submit copies of the bills/reciepts for medical care to my ex with a note stating his portion. If he does not respond, I have to have child support try to collect and after that a judge signs an order adding that amount to his child support.

I would call the places you know she goes to and let them know you are responsible and to stop sending you the bills. Period!

Sasha's picture

Modify the court order to state that she has XX amount of time to turn the bills over to you for payment and if she does not, she is responsible for paying them.

aka's picture

I talked to DH last night and he is going to try to modify the court order where she has to carry both the kids on her insurance. It might cost us a little more in child support but well worth it if we don't have to deal with this headache. I doubt it will work but at the very least he will modify the court order to state she must give the doctor his address.

chirpchirp's picture

This has happened with us just this week also. Except the Drs. office sent the collection notice to the non-custodial father (my fiance) without any prior billings to him. They Dr office states they sent the bm bills from Dec 4 visit. The office never sent a bill to my fiance, just went and put him into collections (he is the medical insurance holder for the children). They refuse to put her name, ss#, info, etc. in for collections because he is the bf, insurance holder...or whatever their reasoning is. They refuse to have the bm involved any further and explained in not some many words "Well, it is your dd".
He is hot. The bm says she doesn't have the money and now his credit is going to be shot because of this.