You are here

Enough

Admin's picture

Several of the members of ST have worn Dawn's patience so thin that she's close to giving up. Yeah, several members have now been blocked from the site, some blogs have been deleted and many, many comments have been removed. Some members were removed because they were actively involved in a fire storm of postings and there was no other way to put out the fire then to block the users involved...even if they weren't the instigators. Unfortunate. Some will be restored, some will not. We'll have to review the aftermath.

Apparently we can't just ask members to control themselves and to quit all of the personal attacks. In a perfect world, we could just ask all members to behave and get back to supporting each other (or at least not responding in a harsh way if you don't agree).

That gets me to my other point. Members aren't blocked (or shouldn't be) because they don't agree with each other. They aren't blocked because they don't agree with me or the other site administrators. I can honestly say (whether you believe me or not) that I haven't blocked a single user just because they didn't agree with me. That's their opinion. I don't have to agree with it.

You won't be blocked for using profanity or voicing your opinion, even if you don't agree with the poster. Express your opinion, if you deem that you must, but do not attack the other member (calling them names, being unduly harsh, etc., come on, I shouldn't have to explain this!). Keep in mind that excessive profane language may get edited. Remember, at the moment this is a completely public site. That's not the image we want to portray to the public.

So those of you (I won't call you out) that are attempting to spread FUD about users getting blocked for no good reason should really keep themselves in check. In almost all cases there were concrete reasons why the user was blocked. They were involved, directly or indirectly, with direct personal attacks against other members of the site. In some cases it wasn't the last post they posted. We sometimes look back at their history as well. In some cases, both sides were blocked. In the rest of the cases, most of them will or have been reinstated.

We've given members the ability to flag content as offensive. This is apparently also being abused. We want members to use this feature to alert us to SPAM and actual offensive content, not just stuff you don't agree with. Many members think it's a game and are flagging everything they see. You're wasting our time and efforts and it continues you also will be blocked from the site because you're abusing it. To the uses who are actually using this feature for what it was intended for, THANK YOU!!!

So bottom line, BEHAVE! The rules are simple. We're not asking you to agree with each other, we're asking you to be civil, even if you don't agree. If you can't follow the rules, you will be removed from the site. Don't expect an explanation from us either. We're not going to waste our already precious time explaining to everyone that gets blocked why they got blocked. It should be obvious.

Hint: If you begin or end your post with "I know this is going to cause a fire storm....", then maybe you shouldn't post it.

I'm sure I'll be responding to many more blogs and comments, but I needed to get that off my chest. I've been more than tolerant to those of you who should have been removed from the site long ago for causing undo chaos and attacking other members, but you're wearing on me as well. Please stop.

-Admin

Comments

BMJen's picture

I didn't know anyone was being reinstated. It's really cool that you guys are taking the time to do that. I'm sure it's much appreciated from those folks also.

And thanks for this blog, I think this may be just what we ALL need to chillax and get back to the point of the site! Smile

Admin's picture

We will reinstate members on a very limited basis. Most were blocked for legitimate abuses of the site rules. We realize that some were blocked in haste in a vein attempt to gain some control of the fighting that has ensued for so many months. These members will get reinstated. Hopefully we don't miss anybody, but we're not perfect.

We will not be providing reasons why we blocked members on an individual basis.

Members who choose to use this site for something other then it's intended purpose will continue to be permanently blocked.

Colorado Girl's picture

Your time and effort is much appreciated.

I think we're all capable of abiding the rules.

Thank you for bringing balance to the force, Obi Wan KanobAdmin. Biggrin

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

I totally got a visual from that with the big light saber and everything! I like it!

lastchance's picture

It makes me sad that this post was even necessary Sad I would have thought that everything you're asking for, by right, should have been learned by each of us in elementary school. Weren't we all taught by our own mothers not to call other people names (they hurt!), to walk away from bullys, to treat others how we want to be treated. If we can't find it in ourselves to be nice to our "neighbors" here on ST, how are we going to ever find it within ourselves to be nice and patient with those in our "real" lives that are troubling us. It's too bad we couldn't take away the anonymity. I would wager that if people could easily be held accountable for their actions, this would no longer happen.

Anyways, I am sorry to you, Admin and Dawn. I am sure trying to keep the masses happy is no easy or rewarding feet! Thank you for your patience.

Admin's picture

A member just asked me how we would like them to respond to another member who has said something out of line, offensive, etc. Great question (that's one we need on the F.A.Q. and upcoming Rules of Conduct).

Ideally I would appreciate it if members would alert us (flag it as offensive, etc.) and not respond to other members who have posted something offensive or otherwise against the site rules. Responding only keeps it going. I know, it's really hard sometimes, but it's very effective at keeping it from turning into a sh!t storm.

Bloggers, if members are posting comments that are offensive, or you just don't like, PLEASE DELETE THEM. It's your blog, so of course you don't have to delete them if you don't want, but by leaving them there you're enabling the commenter to keep it going and to take control of your blog. Take control of your blog. It's yours, not mine. That's why we gave you that control.

Colorado Girl's picture

She was also concerned about the gray hairs this was causing; perhaps picking up some hair dye would help matters as well. Smile

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

But PLEASE use the hair dye BEFORE consuming any beverages or the results may be worse than anything here!!!!! LOL

BMJen's picture

I guess that's what happend last time I colored my hair. I forgot about the color before drink rule. Dawn, if you could see my hair you'd not forget honey! Wink

anabihibik's picture

Forget the hair dye. Get her a full blown appointment at a spa - hair, massage, and all. Or, at least wash her hair for her. Nothing better than having someone else wash your hair. Smile

sweetthing's picture

CG, if my husband brought me home a box of hair color I would be thinking dog house. I would bring home chocolates instead...just saying.

herewegoagain's picture

I do not believe you should worry about offensive flags...I would say ban all spam and anyone who flags something as offensive should be removed if it is found to be not true!

OldTimer's picture

Aahh... I'm sorry you had to post this. I haven't been here for a long time and already I see that some things never change. I'm sorry to hear this.

PoisonApples's picture

I've managed communities like this in the past and I wouldn't change places with Admin and Dawn for anything in the world. It's a difficult job, and a thankless one.

The things going on here are the same things that happen on every site as it matures. The best way to handle it (in my opinion) is to stop trying to please everyone and make things as simple on yourselves as you can. The length of time someone has been on the site should carry NO weight as to what they can or cannot get away with. Drama queen threats to leave by 'seasoned members' should be met with a 'don't let the door hit you on your way out' type of attitude. The threat to leave is a passive-aggressive bully tactic, the hope being that other members will respond making it clear how popular the person is so the administrators will give in rather than having the person leave, after all surely they see how important this person is to the site? Let them go. The site will survive just fine without them. The success of this site does not depend on input from any one member or any particular group of members for that matter. There will always be someone else who comes along who will be as popular or who will add value to the site with their input. That's one thing you can count on. There are a lot of people out there. Anyway, those people who threaten to leave with all the drama rarely really stay gone. They nearly always come back, although sometimes it's with a new name.

There is a UK site I go to (political, not step parent) and one guy there occasionally posts a suicide thread. It always happens after he's tried (and failed) to throw his weight around the board because he's been there for so long. He starts moaning and groaning about how the site has changed and it's no good anymore, blah, blah, blah....Then he hints that he's going to off himself. It's a desperate plea for attention that happens when he fails to control some aspect of the board that he thinks his longevity as a member should let him control. The first few times some of us were very upset and went to great lengths to find the guy and try to help him. It turned out to all be crap though. Now it's just a big joke. Everyone knows that every few months jota is going to post an emotional suicide meltdown goodbye thread but for the most part people just laugh at him now. I don't laugh because I still think he might be so depressed that he'd actually do it but I don't take it seriously and I don't play into it like I used to. Anyway, every time I see one of those passive-aggressive 'Goodbye, this site isn't any good anymore (subtext: please beg me to stay, show them how important I am)' threads I think of him and I shake my head.

I would take a hard line for a short while to weed out troublemakers. If someone is abusing the 'flag as offensive' option, give them ONE warning then boot them off if they continue. If someone is stalking another poster, same thing. One warning then you're out of here. You'd only have to do it for a short time and I'm sure that in a couple of weeks everything would settle down to relative calm, albeit with some familiar names replaced with newer ones.

That's what I'd do but of course there is a lot I don't know about this site so my approach could be entirely inappropriate for these circumstances.

stepoff's picture

Smile ************standing O, PA!****************

I agree whole-heartedly with your post, especially:

'those people who threaten to leave with all the drama rarely really stay gone. They nearly always come back, although sometimes it's with a new name.'

I've noticed a LOT of 'newbies' lately. Hmmmm.......

bothsides's picture

Guess this is the kind of behavior that causes dysfunction and divorce in the first place. :?