This is my first blog...Probably the first of many, now that I have found this site. I am the divorced mother of 3 grown children. I have been married for 2 years to my DH who has his 3 boys FULL TIME. The BM has visitation but has been in and out of rehab so much that she has not spent very much time with them. When I first met my husband he was struggling to care for these boys. He was working full time and trying to run the household alone. I was crazy about him and wanted to help so I jumped in head first. It actually went really well at first.

And how the BM acts at skid's extra curricular activities; namely sports.

Here are a few of my recollections from the "early years"

See if you recognize any of it:

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1. BM goes to game
2. Sits next to friends/family
3. Talks nonstop during the entire game seldome looking up at skids
4. Looks up for a nanosecond at a time to yell "YAY!" when skid manages not to kick ball into his/her own team's net.

After seeing her children for a whopping 6 days last summer, BM has told us that she is going to see them for…wait for it…5 days this summer. Yes ladies and gentlemen, 5 days is what she can spare for SS8 & SD7! Apparently, she is the ONLY leasing consultant at a HUGE apartment complex and there is NO WAY that the position she has held for 3 weeks can be covered. She’s rocking it out I tell ya…a total of 11 days in 4 years…ah the joys of motherhood.

BM died last night. This is a sad, sad story but well worth the read if you have the time. I will condense as much as possible.

I cant believe the punk. I was very hurt and told my husband to discipline him. And when my husband goes off on him the kid does not even react. He did not even care. Then my older stepson heard about it and starts scolding his brother and this makes the kid cry! Older stepson then makes his brother apologise to me. We have a big problem. My 11 year old stepson sees his older brother as more of an authority figure than my husband. How are we going to handle this when the older one leaves in two years?

I have four skids and the two younger ones (ages 4,2) stay with their grandma during the day while we are at work and the other boys at school.By the way grandma lives in our same complex. Yesterday when I came home they were still with her and at the park playing. I guess she went inside the apt and this other kid peed on my poor little 2 year old!!!!!!!!!! I was sooo upset. He came to me instead of his grandma's and said Nikki peed on me. I took him and went to find this disgusting kid. I asked the boy if he did it and he said no. Other kids at the park said yes he did.

How many of us are guilty of this. In saying that we often find ourselves providing our kids with such dysfunction that they’d be better off being raised by a stable single parent? That’s the worst excuse in the book, because if you are staying for the children, you are there for the wrong reasons, and the people that get the worst deal ARE the very children you’re staying for.

6 days and the Kid leaves for USAF BMT.

My wife is getting very fidgety. She is dumping car maintenance guidance, choose your friends wisely guidance, speak up when you are talking guidance, do the job well and finish the job guidance, etc on the kid at a constant high speed.

I am backing off. If I did not back off I would just kill him. He still will not do basic chores. There is always some bullshit excuse about why his chores are not done or for why he did not do what he was told to do.

That's right. If I could get a do over I most certainly would take it. I should have told my husband and his children NO, no they can't live with us. Sorry, but raising your daughter and our 3 children is enough. But that is not what I said. I am forever regretting that decision. Everyday! My thoughts are so unorganized now that I don't even know if this blog will be readable to anyone. But I woke up today full of anxiety and resentment and need to start somewhere.

Since my walking program started, my cordoroys feel a little looser! For a while they were pretty snug. When I first bought them about 4 yrs ago, they were practically hanging off me! I want to get to that point!!