witsend71's picture

Arrrhh!

Here to complain. Nothing to be done about it really. My DS is coming home from college for the summer this week. SS is visiting area and called and suggested DH drive an hour and a half so SD could join him for dinner on the off weekend...SS won't let her in his car cause of her dog so even if he were at BMs house DH would still have to drive...and have dinner at inlaws. DH said GREAT w/o consulting me. SS also plans to use our house as his personal garage so there will be power tools running outside my sons bedroom door. DH refused to mention my son would be here.
DH thinks I should be happy w the idea and called me a b. Only worse. This was after I yelled that son and I don't f word exist.
Sure I can find something to do that night....but I guess I've gotta leave during the day too.
You can suggest I leave but I don't think I can. He's always been afraid of his kids and ex and will rarely if ever put his foot down.


janeyc's picture

Me to, I would hang them on

Me to, I would hang them on my light fitting lol Eye-wink

Disneyfan's picture

Forget BM. How can anyone

Forget BM. How can anyone stay with a man who calls them a bitch?

Orange County Ca's picture

If your son is staying the

If your son is staying the summer why isn't it OK for his kid to stay? Surely he's not going to run power tools while someone is sleeping. Or is it that its the step running them which would be OK if it were your son? Just askin.

What's wrong with him driving 1 1/2 hours to see his kids in a nice calm family setting which includes his in-laws whom I presume he gets along with. If the ex being there bothers you then insist on going along but be polite to everyone and pretend to enjoy yourself.

He probably doesn't put his foot down on little things like this because its not a problem to him. You married a guy who goes easy with everyone around him so you got what you apparently wanted.

What's underlying all of this? His visiting his ex? I think with his kids and in-laws there you don't have to worry much about footsie under the table but like I said if you're worried go along and have a good time.

******************

I've observed humans for 70 years and dogs for 10. I prefer the dogs.

bi's picture

"just askin". more like "just

"just askin". more like "just ASSumin". you sure do think you know a person's whole story and personality with only a few paragraphs to go on. if you're so damn smart, why aren't you running your own therapist business? just askin.

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

StepAside's picture

You know OCC, your tone

You know OCC, your tone lately is so demeaning and belittling. I don't know what your problem is, but your behavior is starting to look that the pic of you in your Wicked Witch hat.

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

StepAside's picture

I haven't paid particular

I haven't paid particular attention before. It's one thing to continue directing folks to one's past writings (annoying) and another to simply treat people like dolts. Guess the second part is what has been hitting my radar.

Ego is one thing. Aggression is another story.

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

bi's picture

he got crappy with me a long

he got crappy with me a long time ago. i find this his responses usually veer way off from the issue and generally make no sense at all. like the woman who posted the other day about her sd dressing inappropriately and occ says something about a man is not a pervert for looking at an 11 year old's crotch as long as he looks away after he does it. Shocked er, ok. way to take it to the extreme. i'm guessing somebody likes to look where they shouldn't, as nobody mentioned grown men looking at little girl's crotches!

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

bi's picture

http://www.steptalk.org/node/

http://www.steptalk.org/node/67880

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

bi's picture

apparently in his world, it's

apparently in his world, it's normal to have an instant response to procreate with a child, as long as she's female. if you don't act on it, it's ok that you felt that way for a minute. Jawdropping!

"I don't hold grudges. I remember facts."

Poodle's picture

(No subject)

Barf!

It's nothing personal.

witsend71's picture

The SS will be at his mothers

The SS will be at his mothers w SD and wants dinner out with us (not BM) but will not drive SD to the dinner . DH must come and get her so she can go. Who calls their dad to say hey I'm gonna be in town so on your kid free weekend drive an hour and a half to pick up my sister who is right next to me because I won't let her and her companion dog in my car. DH and i had a plan to take sons out...but now step son has added SD and in laws...just makes things tense. And yes power tools running while my son is sleeping. Has happened before. You're right bi..... It's hard to understand in a short paragraph. Years of being excluded and trod upon. He did apologize for calling me a f ing b. Has happened maybe 3 times in 12 years. Stung though. Made me think of leaving. We've never blended the families well.

~Lisbeth

StepAside's picture

What the hell does he drive?

What the hell does he drive? A Ferrari? I totally get where you're coming from. Stepkids are fantastic at drawing lines in the sand and not compromising. However, the same individuals can pop off demands all day long and their fathers will never hesitate to jump through their hoops.

They will not budge. But if their father even flinches, they will hang you as being the brain-washing bitch in a New York second and accuse you of cutting his testicles off.

Simple correlation.

SS won't have SD in his car because she comes with a companion dog. Line drawn. He has no problem putting the problem on DH's back.

However, when SS needs a place to store and use his power tools, he has no problem assuming it will be at your place.

Would be ideal if he got the same treatment and expectations that he is good at sending, which would be.. "Actually, it's not convenient for you to keep your tools here and to use them. We have company this summer. How about you store them at your mother's place?"

(ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

witsend71's picture

.

.

~Lisbeth

witsend71's picture

That's not a bad idea. I will

That's not a bad idea. I will suggest it to DH. He could pick her up and we could bring her home as SS isn't going back to BMs.

~Lisbeth