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Emotionally stunted?

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 05/17/2010 - 9:02am

I had a thought last week.

DH and BM were divorced when SD21 was 13. She is immature for her age, as some of her boyfriends have noticed and told her. I've noticed it as well. I was thinking that maybe it's possible that she stopped maturing when her parents divorced. Maybe the news that her parents were splitting up shocked her in such a fashion that she just shut down in some way. She honestly acts like she's still 13.

Has anyone else noticed this type of behavior in children of divorce? If so, is there any way to reverse this?

Comments

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Mon, 05/17/2010 - 9:24am

That is a good point and I have heard of this in younger children (under 10). Maybe she should get some counseling.

Storm76's picture

Submitted by Storm76 on Mon, 05/17/2010 - 9:30am

I've read that people with an addiction (drink, drugs) stop emotionally maturing at the age they start using their substance to escape their feelings. If SD found some way at 13 to escape her feelings, and still uses that the I would think it possible.

I'm not accusing her of being an addict here, it could be that she found by babyfying herself adults stopped expecting her to deal with things, so she retreats into immature behaviour everytime something difficult comes up as she's learned it's a way to get sympathy & support.

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 05/17/2010 - 9:34am

OMG Storm, that makes perfect sense! I think you nailed the issue on the head. I can think back to the issues that have come up over the years and your explanation fits each instance. Thanks! I know she's not on drugs, but yes, the childish behavior gains her sympathy and excuses her from taking on responsibility.