Therapy???
DH rearranged his work schedule for our therapy session tomorrow morning. He has a performance review, but changed the time to the afternoon so that we (DH, SD and myself) could all attend our session tomorrow. It was difficult to schedule this due to everyone's differing schedules, but we managed it.
DH came home from work last night and informed me that he called SD yesterday afternoon. She gave him the 'bum's rush' again, saying she's too busy to talk. He reminded her of our appointment and was going to give her the address when she told him that her own therapist said that it wasn't a good idea for her to join us tomorrow.
First of all, I didn't know she was seeing her own therapist. It's good that she is, though. She has a lot to work through.
Secondly, I just don't see what the problem is with having her join us. All we're doing is talking and discussing things, we're not going to be performing surgery.
Or perhaps this is her way of bowing out of what will likely shed a less than rosey light upon her, again.
I don't know. Now I'm disappointed. I was really hoping to get things on the table and work through them. In my heart, I think that SD just doesn't want to 'fix' anything. She'd rather continue to blame me for ALL of her issues, even though I don't have much to do with her, and haven't for quite some time. Oh well, her loss.
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" I was really hoping to get
" I was really hoping to get things on the table and work through them. In my heart, I think that SD just doesn't want to 'fix' anything. She'd rather continue to blame me for ALL of her issues"
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I'm sorry she is choosing to be that way. BM is that way. Rather than be willing to discuss anything she may have some fault in, she'll close her eyes (the ostrich with it's head in the sand) & think that if she won't look at it, no one else will be able to see it either.
I guess that's what they mean when they say "ignorance is bliss". The longer they refuse to address the issues & the more frantically they point fingers, the longer they can live without having to accept responsibility for their faults.
As long as SD doesn't want to fix things, they can't be fixed. Let her live her miserable life. You were big enough to extend the invitation. I agree with you in that it is indeed her loss.
As far as performing surgery...perhaps it wasn't in the plan, but playing it safe on her part, I guess one never knows what counseling can lead to. LOL!
That's what I'm planning.
That's what I'm planning. She can continue to be miserable, as long as it doesn't affect me and the boys. Her life is hers, and ours is ours. I extended the invite, she refused it, and it won't be offered again. I was quite surprised that she agreed to go in the first place (even though she gave us a bit of a stink about it). I shouldn't be surprised that she's backing out. She wants to hide. That's okay, she can hide. I'm moving on with my life and marriage, and she had better keep her nose out of it.
I so agree with stormabruin
I so agree with stormabruin and it's funny, because I wrote this poem on just this exact same dilemma as follows. It says it all!!
The Blame Game
You cannot grow if you don’t try
Or change all that which you deny
Nor place blame for all your woes
On all the wrongs that you oppose
In feeling righteous without fault
Ensures the barricade of the vault
That holds the martyr forever bound
Desired freedom is never found
You cannot alter what you don’t accept
Remaining thus forever inept
Crying victim for way too long
Becomes yet another unheard song
Our destinies are ours to mold
In making choices strong and bold
Our actions so predict our journey
In making us winners of the tourney
Only truth to self will set you free
Only you can be what you should be
Only you can choose that which you need
And only you can stay fixed or proceed
Love this! Thanks Marbear!
Love this! Thanks Marbear! You'll be published on my refrigerator!
You have the same thought
You have the same thought process as I have: IF she is seeing a therapist. My gut tells me that her mother is her "therapist".
DH and I are still going to this appt. We will set our own boundaries for her. DH will HAVE to stick by them in order to keep her shitty behavior from affecting us any further. I take the blame for my part (reading the email, writing back to her in a shitty tone), but she WON'T own up to ANYthing. I'm over it. It's me and DH from here on out. She can live her life, we'll live ours.
I sure hope she IS in therapy, because Lord knows she really needs it.