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How much allowance to give?

SMto3's picture

I'm asking because SS15 asks for 5.00 on school days and SS10 asks for a dollar or 2 on school days also. SS15 says he forgot to hand in the slip for free meals in school and he needs the money for water for boxing. On top of this, they both ask for things day in and day out as kids do.

I did the math the other day. I spent 300 in bjs in 2 weeks, plus the kids ask for juice daily and the few dollars daily. The 5 dollars on school days for SS15 adds up to roughly 100 monthly. That could be a bill payment. We don't have it like that, this is why I'm mentioning it. SO gives it to him but then on occasion needs a few dollars from me so in essence I fund the kids sometimes. I don't know if setting up a weekly allowance makes more sense. BM barely helps with child support and we also pay for boxing and cell phone for SS15.

Please tell me your thoughts and how you guys handle this.

Comments

Ninji's picture

If he forgot to turn in his slip for free lunch, he doesn't eat. He's 15 not 5. IMO, $5 a day is too much. Kid shouldn't need any money to go to school with. Send him with bottled water for boxing.

Cover1W's picture

You spent $300? Or your SO spent $300?
I wasn't watching expenses this summer and somehow ended up spending hundreds of dollars (like A LOT) on groceries and DP had virtually no food costs. I went into a little bit of debt which I am now recovering from because I cut that off cold when I figured it out.

I don't pay anything for SDs unless I want to and it's not an essential.
Sports, most food, clothing, school stuff, living stuff, DP pays for.
I pay for little things here and there they might like, and appreciate. This month it was $3.50 for new colorful hangars for their closets and $5.00 for chips.

Our SDs don't have an allowance with us, DP just buys everything for them which I disagree with. SD11 has even asked for a bank account over a month ago and DP has yet to help her with that. Seriously! Get her one! She wants to manage her money - she does get an allowance from BM, I think around $20 a month and she has to use it for ALL the stuff she wants over and above essentials. Which is exactly the right thing to do.
I'd be interested in seeing other feedback here too. Just for my own interest, DP has to do this, not me.

SMto3's picture

That was me. I spent around 200 on one visit and then the following week SO used my credit card to go and he spent 127. DD is drinking formula and needs diapers so that's 60 alone, but the rest is for the household. And again, that's not including the dollar or 2 SS10 asks for on school days and the 5 bucks SS15 asks for on school days....

Sunflower1's picture

I've always heard a dollar for each year, per week. So a six yo gets six dollars, etc. to end when they begin earning money of their own.

moeilijk's picture

I'm still working out what I think is right about the mix of chores, independence, and allowance.

I think a small allowance is important. I am a SAHM and I get a small allowance. My husband works FT and he gets a small allowance. (The rest of our income, from whatever source, goes into our joint account.) Both of us need the freedom to enjoy having a little money to spend on ourselves - or to waste. So why wouldn't my kid?

Plus, my kid would learn (because we would teach) how to budget, how to account for things, to prioritize, and to save. All the necessary money-related things adults need to know how to do.

Buuuuuut, I think each family member needs to contribute to the household in ACTION. Of course my DH does less, since he's out of the home earning the moolah, but he does some chores daily. I do more, not a heck of a lot more truth be told due to the energizer-toddler, but still more. And energizer-toddler has increasing responsibilities as well - clearing the table after meals, feeding the cat (tasks which previously took minutes now take a good half-hour... time to the power of T).

And, in some circumstances, I think parents should create circumstances for a kid to earn extra money or contribute more time/action to the household.

But how to tie it all together?

moeilijk's picture

Yeah. That's a good reason. And also in my case, we live comfortably (because we don't care about 'stuff') and have just one kid, and she's the only grandkid on both sides. And two friends donate their used stuff to her as their kids are 3-5 years older. So she has more than enough stuff. She may need that same lesson.

SMto3's picture

Thanks everyone, just wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable, especially since they aren't my kids, sometimes I want to know if maybe I'm just being "the evil SM". The house being dirty is a huge issue for me, and I do think chores need to be in place, but I'm still working on how to divide that between them so that it makes sense. SS15 is in boxing and comes home from school around 7pm. SS10 gets home around 430pm. Depending on where I work I get home either at 830pm or by 5pm but I still have to deal with DD8 months so I don't have time to spend on housework, especially when I'm not the one who leaves it dirty. Still a work in progress.

moeilijk's picture

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/11/4a/1c/114a1c736467a89439931...

And have the price tied to what you are willing to shell out and what you expect/require to be done.

If you require 5 chores per kid, and there are 3 kids, and you're not willing to pay more than $30/week total, break it down to either $2/chore or have the more important chores at a higher 'salary'.

Set YOUR needs/requirements/limitations first, then work around that.

Sunflower1's picture

I'm going to be in the minority here but I disagree on tieing allowance to chores. Chores need to be done whether or not an allowance is given, all people in the home should be contributing to household chores.I think an allowance is given as a teaching tool for budgeting and tieing it to chores can give kids the mindset that they should be paid for contributing to the household. JMHO of course.

Shaman29's picture

I completely agree with you. We were expected to help around the house via chores. No allowance was given to us.

The BUT in that statement was when we wanted money for something, we had to earn it above and beyond our normal chores. My parents created a list of things (outside of the usual we already did) to earn money. We did the extra work, they inspected it, if it passed their approval, they handed out the $$.