I always thought I was okay with the way my life had turned out. I married a man who had kids already. His first wife, their mother, had died. They were young (oldest was 12 and youngest was 7) when I met him. They seemed to take to me okay at first. Then it seemed like overnight everything changed. The kids distanced themselves from me, two of them became nightmares. My husband wasn't exactly a Disney dad, but he never seemed to get through to his kids either. The longer we've been married, the more I feel like nothing in my own home.

His oldest is now 19, 20 in September. She's living with her boyfriend has a baby with him. I couldn't believe it when she told her dad she was actually pregnant. Though I have to admit, she's a good mom and her and her boyfriend seem to be doing good. They both work and don't rely on others to do everything for them. But I still wonder how things will work out in a few years. Both of them seem to want another.

Three of the kids still live with us. SS17, SD16 and SS15. They ignore me and I don't parent them. My husband is the parent. Not me. I don't tell them what to do, they don't come to me if they need anything and I don't offer to help. It wasn't always this way. But once we started to become a proper family, the kids pulled away and said they didn't want another mother or mother figure. So I became non-family.

My husband and I talk about it. He feels I should try harder. I should force them to like me. Show them how good I am. Make them love me. But how can I? They don't want to see me like that, they don't want me in their lives. I've never met my husbands grandchild. His daughter only visits when she knows I won't be home.

We had wanted a baby together. We tried to get pregnant and the found out we couldn't have kids together. It was then that his kids distance from me really started to get to me. My parents also notice my stepkids lack of interest. They never stay in the house when they come. Even though they know my parents would gladly spoil them like their own grandchildren, because they did when they were younger.

My husband has started talking about a "family Christmas" this year. He wants all of us to spend it together. He's even started talking about getting family photos taken. I've told him it won't happen and he said the kids will come around, they really do love me, they just don't know they love me.

Has anyone ever dealt with something like this? Did it get better or worse? Did you stay or leave?