I thought with SD23 being done with college (undergrad at least) and CS is finally over, it would end with BM except for big occasions. Nope!

Here's the big problem with BM being older than DH: She retired last year. She sold their former family home, inherited her mother's estate, and is finally living more comfortably. The problem now is that she has too much time on her hands! All she does is assume the worst with SD23, and although she has reason to assume some bad, she goes way overboard, and gets DH involved.

Latest example: Sunday we celebrated our two older sons' birthdays. SD23 was supposed to attend, but texted me that she was throwing up all day, and didn't think she could make it. Ok. Later in the evening she texted me asking if she could visit the boys the next day. At the same time, DH's phone started pinging with numerous texts. I assumed they were all SD23, and didn't bother to ask what was going on. He rarely shares anyway. I did notice that he didn't bother to answer any of the texts, but he was also on his computer, so I assumed he answered through FB or something. I don't know how else they communicate, but I figured he answered. When SD came over yesterday, she told me she was frustrated that he wouldn't answer her texts, and then told me that it was about BM. BM was also blowing up his phone, so now I also understand the bad mood he was in. The mood it puts him in is the worst part of the whole thing, and the only reason I care. So, SD23 hadn't been home in a few days because she stays at her boyfriend's a lot now. She also hadn't been answering BM's texts, but she was working 13 hour shifts, and yesterday she was in bed sick all day at her boyfriend's. BM assumed she was sick because she's on drugs and flipped out and accused SD23 of being on drugs and texted the same nonsense to DH. The little I know of SD23, I can believe it's possible she does drugs, but the only thing I am certain of is that she smokes pot, which is hardly worth panic. DH apparently shut down and ignored both of them. When SD23 came over, she told me about this, and said she never does anything like her mother accuses her of, and that eventually BM apologized to her. SD23 and her boyfriend acted as if it's normal for BM to work herself up like that, and now that she has nothing better to do, she is really out of control. Great. DH never shares, and all I want to know is when BM texts so I can write off any moods he's in around those times. I don't even want to know what she texts, just that she texts!

I don't know how to bring this up to DH without sounding like I'm prying or complaining. I just want warning on why he's in a bad mood if it's not my fault! I had this conversation with him years ago, and it didn't go too well. Ugh!