If you read one of my recent posts, you'll know I was struggling with the problem of attending my stepgranddaughter's first birthday. Also, in my last post I was lamenting about how people are so rude about sending an RSVP; well this post is a result of my SD23 (grandchild's mother) who treats me (and DH) like crap. I thought everything was going too smoothly with us, and she does not yet know I was considering not attending the party. (She does now!) Tomorrow we are having a combo fish fry and birthday bash for DH and had invited her, her DH & baby over two weeks ago when were at their house visiting. I also included her in the recent email invites and DH & I both texted her. Yesterday she said they were coming, but today DH got a text saying, "sorry but I didn't know my DH had invited friends over, we can't make it tomorrow". Hmmmmm....My DH is pissed! WOW!! For once his little angel has pissed him off!! He called her and said he had asked her over two weeks ago, it was part of his birthday bash, kinda sad you have to remind your own kid that it's your bday, but oh well. She then proceeded to tell him that it was my fault, I don't like them, don't try to get along with them and I wouldn't hold the baby. Say what??!!! The only times I haven't held the baby or played with her was the two times I had a cold and/or bronchitis. I'd be thankful someone didn't touch my kid if they were sick or contagious. (SD23 flunked nursing school - now I know why! But her DH is a RN, go figure!) I was furious, naturally so I waited a while til I calmed down and then composed the following message to her,sent via Facebook since it was too long to text. Please give it a read and your honest opinion. I've been beat up on so much this week, a few critisms aren't going to hurt

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Ok - I don't know what's upset you this time or really most of the other times but I have tried my best to get along with you. The last few times we have seen you everything seemed fine - so what's the deal? If you think I'm stopping your father from seeing you, you are so wrong! I have encouraged him REPEATEDLY to go see you, but when we try to make plans with you we usually get blown off.

I have told him that since it seems to be you having a problem with me, then he should go see you without me - he won't. He says it's not right for him to have to go alone because we should be a family. Well, SD23, I've tried to be friendly with you and it appears you just don't want a peaceful relationship. That's fine by me, but stop this crap with your father. You are being so disrespectful to him - you seem to forget all the things he has done for you, how he raised you. You know he could have been a total ass and dumped you with your mother - who by your own account didn't give a rip about you, your sister or even your little brother. But he didn't.

You need to remember just who raised you, gave you everything - it certainly wasn't your mother. It was your FATHER and his parents - your grandparents. Just because I came into to picture didn't mean he stopped loving you - you were an adult when he & I got together, although at times you certainly don't act like one. You cry and scream you want us to all get along & to quit dragging up the past - well SD23, it seems like you're the one who won't let go of the past problems. We all make mistakes and I have admitted to mine and apologized for them. I don't know what else you want from me, so maybe you should tell me.

If I have offended you or pissed you off, you need to confront me about it and let's get it out in the open and work it out - stop this bullshit NOW. You probably don't even care, but DH is having some serious health issues right now - how would you feel if something happened to him & you never got to see him ever again? I know how that feels - I lost my brother whom I hadn't seen in years because we were both too stubborn to make amends over something really stupid. I cry everyday because I miss him and never had the chance to make things right or tell him how much I loved him. Don't make the same mistake I did. Your dad doesn't deserve this punishment you're handing him. You may not like me, but I'm his wife and I love him - can't you at least be happy that he's got someone who loves and cares about him? You really don't seem like the type of person who would be so selfish - but unfortunately,your actions are exactly that -

Now you can either choose to call everybody and tell them what I horrible bitch I am to be sending this message to you and have a lil chatfest about how you all hate me & whatever, or you can put on your big girl panties and act like an adult and try to work to have a better relationship with your father. Your choice. Choose wisely.

Regards,
JMC