Let dh entertain/ care for them. Think of them as his guests. Don't alter your schedule. I know that is likely hard to so as they are just kids, and likely will be very engaging. But stick to your guns!

Book a weekend at a luxury hotel/spa and let DH deal with the GrandSkids.

End of issue.

Or, relax and have a good time with DH and the G-Skids. Either way, don't stress out about it.

I'd absolutely make plans for a nice hotel stay somewhere. He had no right not to discuss this with u first. Plan a spa getaway!

Just do what you want that weekend. This is not your problem...He made the commitment, he can honor it.

You do what YOU need to do to get through it. Whether that be spending that time elsewhere, staying home and not being a part of it, or interacting with them and trying to keep some control of your home.

Your DH agreeing to this without discussing it with you was not right at all and that must be addressed at some point. I would be livid.

Don't feel obligated in any way to be activities director. Your dh informing you that he has invited his gc was his doing. If you want to entertain, clean up after them and rearrange your schedule then make sure it is your choice . It's not likely you will receive any recognition for your efforts. Most likely doing this the first time will make it expected for any future visits.

I once thought my efforts to be grandma to dh's grandchildren would be appreciated. Was I ever wrong . In the beginning I treated all his gc as if they were my own by initiating the vacations, shopping trips, and family gatherings that he would have never done on his own. I spent several years early in our marriage raising 2 of the gc at a time when children services would have removed them otherwise. I was easily thrown under the bus once the gc went home and I announced I refused to raise anymore gc.

Let this be your dh's. quality time with them. I have not seen my dh's gc for 10 years. The ones I knew grew up and I never heard from. Finally last year dh's daughter visited with some young gc that I met for the first time. I did my best not to repeat my earlier mistakes. I did nothing to prepare meals, I did nothing to rearrange and plan their sleeping space, I did nothing to provide entertainment. Totally dh's responsibility. Since my own teen nephew was already visiting , I continued my own planned activities with him.

The visit was pleasant, when my nephew and I were returned from our own activities I socialized with sd and her newest children. I did not participate or contribute in anything that could be considered as setting a standard for the future.

This is a tough one bc you do not want to come across as an ogre - they are young kids. But you don't want to be sucked into catering to them and caring for them either, given who their mother is. So either remove yourself from the premises entirely, or be polite and uninvolved - but this is almost like going against your grain as they are kids, your husband's gc, right there in your house.

My instinct would have kicked in and i would have ended up the gracious hostess, i'm afraid. So for me it would be easier to just avoid them like the plague. My DH springing them on me would not have sat well with me either.

Keep us posted. I wonder how it will all turn out. I dread the day my skids will reproduce - more weapons in their manipulation campaign of DH.

His problem. Visit your sister, mother, cousin, man on the moon. Just don't be there. You WOULD HAVE been had things been DIFFERENT with SD, but history dictacts - no committment, no conscience. HIS problem.

My DH is the most wonderful (s)grandpa to my grandchildren, plays with them, makes them laugh. They just love him.
I feel like I owe it to him to reciprocate and be the best possible (s)grandma to his three. Even though it makes me majorly uncomfortable to have them over outside of holidays.

The last time we babysat the sgrandkids, I made it clear ahead of time to DH that I was tired that weekend, we just got back from vacation, and so he can watch movies in the basement with them. I made myself scarce by cleaning out the refrigerator, did housework upstairs the whole morning, while he entertained them in the basement.
In the afternoon, we took them to the science museum, which was a great way to kill time and entertain them.

We take his grkids to events, so I'm not stuck babysitting them the whole time, or cooking.

Oh, has your DH set you up good on this one. First he mentions it and your silence means he can go ahead and plan? You voice your concerns and the fight is on? You have cared in the past but been burned but they are “our” grandchildren? What has he done to put out the fire that burned you in the first place? Nothing I am sure.

Regardless you are in a hard place. If you go away for the weekend, DH gets to be the victim as he does all the child care and SD gets to reinforce the idea that you are a bad grandparent.

You stick around and are uncomfortable and you develop an ulcer.

So my advice is to fight this one way differently. The grand kids are 9 and 11 (2 does not yet count) where they are looking for a reason to discount their own mom. It is part of the growing up process and it is universal. EXPLOIT THAT!!! Be the grandma from heaven. Eat ice cream for breakfast, let them do anything (safely) and spend DH’s money on them like it is going out of style. Not a negative word for these kids. Listen to them, have fun with them, send home all their wet dirty laundry in a plastic bag. Hire a cleaning lady to repair the house on Monday. Again,on DH’s dime.

When SD complains about you, the kids will think that is not the grandma they know. When DH complains that it cost a small fortune, you can reply that there is nothing too good for your grandchildren. What can he say to that? NOTHING!!!

What is the worst that can happen? SD refuses to let them go??? DH does not want to break the bank again and limits the visits to a day or so???

Good Luck

Just a thought - if your silence meant you agreed, doesn't his silent treatment mean he agreed to take them back early???