Is it easier for stepdads?
I admit it. I'm jealous of my stepkids' soon to be step dad. They have adored him from the beginning, living everything he loves and fighting over his attention. Me? They were told I was "nothing to them" and it has taken 6 years to get to where we have a decent relationship. One ss still won't say my actual name.
His family is their family even though they have met them twice. My family? They don't talk to them or consider them family at all.
He seems to adore them too and always want to play with them and seems to never get annoyed by them. I feel like an awful stepmom. I do and say all the right things but my heart isn't really in it. I admit I am relieved when they go home most of the time. Maybe it's having 2 young children, one with autism and one a newborn. I'm jealous over bm and stepdads carefree lifestyle, when we don't get any time off and I'm always stressed about my bs. When bm gets all nuts about silly things, it aggravates me so much more now. She has no idea what real problems are.
Ok, I got off topic. So is it easier for stepdads sometimes? I know there are some guys on here but not that many. Sd in my situation seems to pick and choose when he's involved and always gets to be the fun guy. He gets adoration for any litle thing he does, while I do everything and get no acknowledgement.
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Yes. In Stepmonster, the
Yes. In Stepmonster, the author explores in depth that often there is little friction when a step father joins a family, but total upheaval when a step mother does. It appears to cross cultural boundaries as well.
Yes yes yes yes! You know
Yes yes yes yes! You know its easier for a guy! He is the hero that took on "all that baggage" or a "package deal", a guy who stepped up to the plate blah blah blah blah! Ewwww sickening! It is because the world will never as a whole see a mom and kid as a whole entire self sustaining family all on their own, so if a man comes in he "makes it complete" ad nausea. But when a Smom comes in to the picture its "how long were they dating? was it during the marriage? oh boy! how old is she? do the kids even like her?" Its insane!
I do think that step dads
I do think that step dads generally have it easier for many reasons, a lot of them already listed.
In my situation, my SD's BM bad mouthed me and my DH every chance she got and of course, praised her then husband. SD did not see her step dad as someone who was in the way, like she did me. BM convinced her that the step dad cared more about SD than DH did.
Of course, after that guy left BM, he was not so great.