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So there goes any adult social interactions

Evil stepmonster's picture

DH has switched his weekends to 1st, 3rd, and 5th. The standard.
What does that mean for me?? Goodbye social life.
It's not like I'm a club kid or anything but I do on the rare occasion like to go out with adult friends and have fun. There will be no more fun for Evil.
DH argues that we can always go and do something on the weekends when his kids are not here. So he means the weekends when my kids are here? Because I don't want to spend time with my kids. What mother does right?
"Your kids are ok when we leave them alone here"
"So I give up weekend time with my kids because your kid(s) can't be left alone?"
During the week every thing is business. Get to practice, do your homework, study for your exam, brush your teeth, do your laundry, chores have to be done, 9pm bed time. There is no watching a movie together, playing a board game, playing outside with them our weeks is pretty jammed pack. The weekends I have them are when we do fun stuff. Does that make any sense? Because DH told me I was being rediculous about it.
Also, this means that not one day in the entire year will I be completely childless. I'll never have a break from tantrums and bickering and all of that.
Does he not understand that all work and no play makes Evil a huge ass bitch!!!
Before RFM declaring mexicans are dirty and need to leave the USA ex probably would have switched weekends with me. He's not loosing any time with them and he's usually pretty easy to work with. However, not so much any more.
"You want to rearrange everything so that kid can come over to your house more? Is that what you want?"
"Don't ask questions that I can't give a good answer too."
"No, I asked the boys and they don't want to switch."
Well....I had no response. I kinda knew neither the ex or my kids were going to rearrange their life to make anything easier on Redface Magee. And all of this because Inbred is with holding the kids from DH.
Any one here watch Cougar Town? I see a big Carl in my future.

Comments

Evil stepmonster's picture

I mentioned this, and was met with
#1 my kids aren't here all the time and you want me to pay someone to watch them so you can go out and have fun?
#2 Redface Magee, he won't come right out and say it but he is scared to leave him alone with anyone.

Evil stepmonster's picture

I've thought of that, I've done it once or twice but by 10 pm I feel bad that he's not with me and the fun part starts to dwindle because I really wanted to have fun with him.

Sports Fan's picture

DH says the same thing to me. We can do things when my BS is home but we can't when skids are over because he can't leave them home alone. And it's not their ages, it's that we can't trust them. I only recently got DH to agree to less time so we could have at least some alone time, totally kidless.

Is there anyway your DH would give up one day a month so you can have some alone time? Or a babysitter for skids?

Evil stepmonster's picture

Inbred is keeping the youngest two away from DH. He got a lawyer and they're working on getting a contempt charge but at the moment he wants all his kids as much as he can have them. Before the switch his kids would come over on the weekends my kids were home, which meant Redface Magee was not allowed to stay the night. Now RFM can come and sleep over every time he gets his kids because my kids will be with their dad.

Sootica's picture

Did your DH discuss this schedule change with you prior to agreeing to it?This effects your life too and both of yours marriage so it would only be the courteous thing to do.Golden rule unless it's a life or death situation any skid schedule changes which impact on our marriage is discussed by the people in the marriage -prior to agreeing to it with any external sources.

Evil stepmonster's picture

He's mentioned it to me, and I told him I didn't think it was the greatest idea and he told me I just hated his kid. But I didn't know he had talked to BM1 about it and that they had reached an agreement.

moeilijk's picture

See now THAT is what pisses me off most. I know I'm not you, OP, but I get irritated with my DH when he fails to mention his IDEAS about when he'd like to take a random day off which doesn't affect me whatsoever. To plan something that seriously affects my life, my free time and my marriage... not just plan but to enact something... without making sure I was a-ok and in favour?

There'd be a very pissed off moeilijk.

Evil stepmonster's picture

Oh, Evil is pissed...very much so.
I went and purchased animal health insurance, I told him I was thinking about it, then I just went and did it.
"Why do you think the dogs need health insurance??"
"Because your son is the biggest threat to their health and now he'll be here more."

Sootica's picture

^^^^^This^^^^^

I would not tolerate for 1 red minute having ANYONE in my home who I thought was a threat to my pets.They look to us for safety & bringing a known danger into what is also meant to be their safe environment is just wrong on so many levels.

Evil stepmonster's picture

When he is there, I keep them in my roon when we're sleeping, and if I go any where I lock the cat in BS14 room and take the dogs with me. Once he starts spending the night more I'm going to be gently nudgeing DH towards actual therapy for him. I hope he listens this time. Until them, I'm prepping for the end of days.