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So now I know what I'm talking about?

Evil stepmonster's picture

For a while now I've tried to tell DH that Redface Magee is not autistic. That was a quick diagnosis by a doctor who over books patients on medicaid and gets them in and out. When BM1 got that diagnosis and decided it was better than the others she had got previously she almost seemed delighted about it.
"My baby isn't dangerous, he's autistic" "It's his aspergers, he's not hearing voices"
I tried and tried to talk to DH about it, he didn't want to hear it. He even told me that I am not expert on this and I don't know what I'm talking about or anything that Redface goes through with his disorder or what he and BM1 is going through.
But I have a secret. shhh
It isn't my secret to tell, and though he was very upset that I had never mentioned it he eventually understood.
BS14 has autism spectrum disorder.
He's very high funtioning, he was diagnosed very early in life and there was a plan of treatment made right then and there which I have always followed. He was not put on antipsychotic drugs and enabled all his life. When he crossed a line he got his butt spanked. When it was a minor infraction he got punished a different way. Discipline, all children need it along with rules, boundaries, and of course all of those with love. Which I did. Last week I was asked to attend a meeting with the couselor of BS14's school, and a few of his teachers. At first I wasn't sure what the deal was. For a minute I thought he had gotten into a fight with a boy that he had been having trouble with for the last few weeks. DH wanted to attend so ok.
Well, BS14 will no longer be needing his special classes for kids on the spectrum. He has progressed very well and can join all regular classes. BS14 was very proud of himself, as was I proud of him. DH on the other hand....had a deer in head lights look for a while.
He had no idea, neither does anyone else. I knew, his father knew, and only the certain members of his schools staff knew. I didn't want him labeled as so many are. But, as I predicted when we were first told this that the right type of plan will give the best results. I made sure he wasn't treated differntly than any other kid, knew the signs of overload he had and when I saw them I removed the problem. Encouraged all his interests from playing the sax to painting to computer drafting. I never once told him it was a reason for him to not try. That he was my special little baby who I'm going to make excuses for around every corner.
I even read up on how nutriction and physical activity could help reverse some of the effects and put that into his daily life as well.
DH- So that's why you always said RFM problems weren't autismn.
Me- Yep
DH- You could have told me.
Me- It isn't my secret to tell, it's BS14's. If he wanted to tell you he would have. And as you see, he's not incapable of living a normal life with out constantly going bat shit crazy on anyone who tells him no.
DH- Yeah, I can see that.
Will this change how they deal with Redface Magee, probably not. But maybe, just maybe DH will listen to what I have to say about things now.....maybe.

Comments

Evil stepmonster's picture

Thank you, although DH did point out something, he will start listening to me, but that doesn't mean BM1 will. I wash my hands of this.

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

Its the only thing you can do. I am supportive of DSO, but I know what SS15 is capable of and how badly DSO and BM have screwed him up (explained more below).

ItHasGottenBetter's picture

This is exactly what my SS15 is going thru. SS does have some type of behavior issue, but is it mental or is it a product of BM and DSOs parenting.

Today is the court date when the court decides to send the boy to an out of state psyche facility or keep him in juvie. It has been a long road with him and his parents have never pushed for any type of specialized treatment or couseling. I blame DSO bc he had full custody for 2 years and never once took my suggestions of switching the psyche place that handed out his scripts but never did much else.

SS has never had any type of psyche evals or any other specialized testing that I have read about on other sites. A doctor (much like your SS') said this 13 years ago and no one ever tried to do a med wash, or anything else to see if they maybe got it wrong.

I feel for DSO, this is his favorite child. The kid is funny and would be a lot of fun to hang out with if he didn't go postal at the slightest hint of the word no.

Evil stepmonster's picture

No, he didn't know. It's been a 10 year progression from full special ed class to now full regular classes. Once BS14 was old enough to realize what was going on and I explained it to him it's always his decision on who he'd like to tell. His brothers didn't even know, the older one supsected something was up a few years ago, but nothing concrete. It was purely by accident that DH was with me, I really thought BS had gotten into a fight at school, but there was BS14 beaming with cat that ate the canary grin when we walked in their. He didn't ask DH to leave, and then we took him out for dinner. This last weekend he finally told the older brother, he wants to wait until YBS is a bit older cause he still blurts things out left and right.