You are here

I'm pretty sure I posted the same blog this time last year. And maybe the year before that, too.

momagainfor4's picture

Every year, every other weekend it's almost always the same thing.

DH has forgotten all the hateful ugly words that his sweet princess sd15 said to him before thanksgiving. Now it's xmas!!!

It's time pretend that your kid loves you and doesn't use you.

Latest development is that after the big blowup with sd, dh said he didn't apologize for anything. He said. I'm sure that if I read his texts that I'd find him kissing up to baby girl and telling her sorry he was about upsetting her so much.

He also got in a ugly convo text war with bm and she's not communicated with him since.
At this point, he's just chit chatting with sd. And so amazed that she's actually texting with him!! OMG!!! Can you believe it??
I'm like.. it's xmas. She wants her gifts doofus. Of course she's gonna communicate. It's the same thing every single holiday where there are gifts involved. She kisses his ass like she means it then she turns around and ignores him completely.

He told me the other night that she doesn't know what she wants for xmas. That he would have to take her shopping and get her something bc that's how it works. I explained that after the way she talked to him, why would he bother wasting his time. Just get her a gift card and let it be.

he then responded that he needed to take her bc he wouldn't hear the end of it until he did that. What a freaking joke!!!

I just wish he kissed my ass half as much as he kisses her's!! Then again I'm not a greedy little narcissistic brat. So yeh, I don't need him to stroke my ego.

I did try to explain, as you all have done, that this behavior can't be reinforced. You have to set boundaries. But he just blows me off. I seriously can't wait to get a good look at his text to see what he has really been saying to her. And not just what he's been telling me to shut me up.

If my kid talked to me the way his kid talks to him, we would not be communicating until there was an apology. But that's me. And I've had more experience as a parent.
I think was got me the most was when I asked last night if he had talked to his brother and if we knew where we were staying yet? And if he'd gotten anymore feedback from his daughter on her plans??
His response: Oh, I told her I'd let her know tomorrow sometime bc that's when I'm supposed to talk to my bro again to see if we are staying with him or if we need a hotel.

Ok, so this means he talked to all of his family and never bothered to even tell me anything. I'm always the one left hanging out and in the dark.
It just makes me want to stay home with my dogs and tell him to go jump in the river. Besides, having to watch him kiss her ass disgusts me to my core.
It's the same thing, every holiday. Every birthday. I can feel myself slowly getting to the point of just not caring. I doubt that brat will ever step foot in our house again to be honest. She's found a way not to come here since May. My hope is that she'll just not ever come here again. I'm so sick of it. But yeh, this is what I bought into. If i was smart I'd get the hell out now. It just feels like I'm always being "put in my place." and I don't like the place.

Comments

momagainfor4's picture

thank you, Rising2! I actually talked to my dh at lunch about my just staying here this weekend and he would not hear of it. He was disappointed that his careless words had caused me to become upset and not feel like part of the festivities. He said that when he told me that he just didn't think it was a big deal bc there was just nothing to tell me yet.
And that he didn't mean he'd discussed it with sd before me. He said she was asking and he just responded to her that we weren't sure of our plans yet but we'd tell her today.
He seems to think she's just kissing up bc we are there for the weekend and that she has no intention of really spending time with us.
Can I pray??
What's really hilarious is that we were planning to stay in a hotel by ourselves for the night on Saturday night. He gave sd15 the option of staying with us or staying with her cousins. She said, idk. So yeh. There will be lots of wine for me this weekend!! Why he let his bro change his mind, Idk.
Unfortunately my sarcastic dry humor has to be watched or I'll upset someone.
Bc my filter falls off!!
Also, one thing that really get's me about this is that his daughter told him that she "made him something" earlier this week. Seriously, let me explain. Her idea of making something is throwing some crap on a pc of paper bc she didn't buy him a card. Or bringing him some cookies bc she couldn't be bothered to get anyone anything.
She has never, not once, not ever bought a gift for anyone in my dh's family including me or him. NO one. Not once. And MONEY is NO issue.
They are rolling in money. It's her lack of thought to buy anyone a gift even at age 15. She has her own money. I'm sorry that sounds petty but I have reared 3 children to adulthood.
I know how you teach kids to be givers....and takers. She's a taker. She'll show up empty handed once again and get pissy when she doesn't like what she get's. THEN dadddddddyyyyyy wlll go take her to the mall, exclusionary to the rest of the family, and buy her some awesome gift. It won't be a gift from both of us bc she will have made it a gift from her DDDDDAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!