I will believe when I see it. DH always said he believes that I should handle/discipline my own son and he will do the same. It sounds like a fair statement but one person does not discipline their child and it affects the whole household that is not fair.

His son back in the beginning of May decided to move out, that decision lasted a whole 3 weeks. Once he found out I bought a new house (soley in my name and funds until the one we owned together sold) in an area closer to his friends he asked his dad if he could move back in with us. When DH told me about this, I said if he wants to come back it has to be much different than our old house.

There are rules that he must follow and they must be enforced and he agreed said they would be put in writing and “we” would go over them altogether (which was bullshit). The rules are simple:

Not drugs or drug paraphilia in our house
No smoking anything in the house
No drinking beer or booze that is not yours
Clean your room and bathroom once a week and maintain in between
Pick up after yourself
Food and drinks only to be consumed in the kitchen
Upstairs loft is off limits to all kids.
once you are done school, pay your own cell phone, car insurance and rent.

Not unreasonable. Within 4 days of him moving in me and DH come home to find him on the brand new couch eating pizza, DH said nothing, I called him on it in front of his friends. Of course major eye roll and a snotty “sorry”.

Within 3 weeks his room stunk like pot, I found the pot and a pipe and threw them out, DH still did nothing. During the summer I would come home to empty beer bottles all over the kitchen, he just helps himself to my beer.

Every single rule is ignored. He has been done school for 3 months now and doesn’t pay rent, does not clean up after himself, breaks all the rules and has the attitude of an asshole and to top it off uses DH as an insta-teller. Skid has received $4,000 in money here and there since moving back.

DH has kept on promising to talk to him, does not want us to do it together because it worries that it would make my and skid’s relationship worse than it is , to do something about it but it never happens.

This weekend skid went out of town, so I cleaned his room top to bottom, did all his laundry and put it away, also scrubbed his bathroom, all for the very last time.
DH came home and noticed what I had done, and did not say anything. I was just about to sit down and talk to him to say: I have cleaned up after skid for the last time, he must follow the rules, clean his room and bathroom or he has to move out. If he doesn’t move out, I will sell the house and that will be that.

But before I even got a chance, he was talking to me about the rules and listed them on his computer and went over them, asked me if I had anything to add and he would talk to skid when he returned from the weekend. He said he wants him to move out, however does not want to kick him out and will explain to him that if he does not follow the rules he will have made the choice to move out.

I don’t have much faith, but it needs to be done. I am sorry tired of feeling like this 20 year old skid rules my house. I have an 18 year old who follows all the rules and even will help out by shoveling snow, taking out the garbage, vacuuming all without being asked.

I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see what will actually happen.