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How many of you have left a relationship ONLY because of the SK's?

Life2.0's picture

Submitted by Life2.0 on Sun, 11/30/2014 - 8:31pm

Forums: 
Step/Bio Father's Den

Question in subject...
By this, I mean that APART from the bratlets, everything else was wonderful, but you couldn't handle the situation and bailed.

My saga...
http://www.steptalk.org/node/202717
Replies pretty much uniformly telling me I was in BAD PLACE and to RUN!

But I love this woman, and I do believe we will eventually work things out with the Step brat.
You know, commitment, working things out, compromise etc etc...OK, maybe I'm being overly optimistic and naive.

BUt obviously, sometimes despite everything else being wonderful, the step tyrants ruined an otherwise perfect relationship.

Just reply with you summary, I'm interested in what happened, what was the tipping point, how long you lasted, did you live together etc etc..

Thanks!

PS, if you want to comment on MY specific example, can I ask you do so in that thread, not this one?

Awesome, thanks!

peacemaker's picture

Submitted by peacemaker on Sun, 11/30/2014 - 8:48pm

I left the skids, but stayed with my spouse by disengaging.....The only relationship i left was the toxic one.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 12/01/2014 - 1:55am

Disengaging = Minimizing any interface or direct support for a toxic Skid. Letting your partner parent their prior relationship spawn and fundamentally ignoring the toxic kid(s).

Not a strategy that I am a fan of. I cannot abdicate control of a notable portion of my life to a child particularly a toxic child whether they are a young child or an adult. I ascribe to the “If you don’t like how I parent or discipline the/your child then you better step up and get it done before I have to. Otherwise bite your tongue and speak to me about it off line after the behavioral incident is dealt with and we are out of earshot of the kid(s).”

I know of no other way to have a successful marriage to a person with prior relationship children other than to be equity life partners and an to be an equity parent to any children in the marital home regardless of kid biology. We have been married for more than 20 years and we raised our son (my Skid) together as equity partners and equity parents since before SS-22 turned 2yo.