Why do dh's and bm's think their kid is a freaking genius or prodigy?
My kids are not geniuses. I know this. I still encourage them to do whatever they want and to live up to their potential! They are all fairly smart and intelligent. Sometimes they don't use it but they are always trying to learn and move forward. I'm proud of them all.
I'm totally flabbergasted that my dh seems to think his kid is so freaking smart. I did point out that she has had some trouble passing classes thus far. Not to pressure her just let her find something that she's interested in otherwise she'll not do well down the road.
She was in 1 blow-off ap class last semester. That's it. Her other friends are going to top notch high schools. They prepared and worked hard to get there.
She just started high school at a prep school that was the 3rd choice. She finally was able to pass the entrance exam to this one. She flunked the others. Even though she was considered a legacy at one.
It's a private prep school in the inner city.....so she was going up against minorities and poor kids that are on scholarships. The ones that can't afford to go to the other schools. Kids that are most likely much more intelligent than her. She should stick with public school!!
Sd15 has been in private school from k-6. Then went to a public middle school. She was behind when she started the public school. That's really almost unheard of unless your kid has a learning issue. Which no one will actually consider.
My dh thinks that bc she has big dreams of being some specialized doctor that she's actually going to do that. Seriously, no. Just no. Everyones kid wants to be some crazy thing when they are little. She's developmentally behind in all areas. I can't see some miraculous changing taking place in the next 3-4 years?? Like she's just out of the blue get serious about making the grade and going to a top tier university??
Bc that's where we live, in a college town. She can't get in. She's not smart enough and she has no community involvement or hobbies.
I've kept most of this to myself and just smile and nod. BUT really?? Why do you think your kid that can't even put her used tampons in the garbage is going to be moved toward a field that requires self motivation, drive and intelligence?? She doesn't have the drive to throw her candy wrappers away and stuffs them in the couch???!!!!! She is totally lazy and can't even stick to one thing bc it's tooooo hard. The instructor is ALWAYS so mean to her. Basically, she can't commit. They've created a victim who needs to be taken care of.
As my friend once said about sd "prodigies don't eat their own boogers!" (she saw sd picking her nose and eating her own boogers one day) lol!
I guess it's good to live in a dream world. I just can't afford it myself. I hate to be negative but it's just so frustrating to me. It's like all the focus is on what she's GOING to do and not on the fact that you have to work damn hard to get there! Your mommy and daddy can buy your way in but you have to do the work.
I think I'm bitter too bc I have to work so darn hard to get thru school. I'll just barely finish by the time she does get out of high school. It just feels like stupid people always get a pass.
I'd love to hear about your prodigies??!!!! How smart are your skids???? brilliant or not so smart!!?
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My SD is not dumb...but she's
My SD is not dumb...but she's no more than average. Mind you she's only 6, but she has no discovered talents or skills that set her above anyone else. Yet DH goes around telling everyone she's at the top of her class LOL which is totally not true at all. Just a father's blind pride I guess. Whatevs haha.
SS18 is the laziest and
SS18 is the laziest and rudest individual I know.
Nobody even tries to claim he is more than average intelligence. I used to be the main person who complimented him and advocated for him in an attempt to help build his self esteem.
i guess I just compare his
i guess I just compare his kid to my kids on some level. I know how hard they have to work to be better than their classmates. It's a dog eat dog world in the scholarship and college entrance world!!!
My kids were in band, several extracurricular activities and received awards at school for academics. Sd hasn't ever received any kind of award. Except for one time when she did one thing one summer. That was it.
She's quit everything else that's ever required hard work and endurance. Anytime anyone demands anything from her she just quits. You don't get into a top tiered university by having that work ethic!! I know bc my daughter went to one!!
Oddly, I have the opposite
Oddly, I have the opposite problem - but with the same end result, I think.
One of my skids has a learning disability, not dyslexia but close enough. She needs to work extra hard to keep up with her classmates. So her mother spent her entire life telling her she couldn't do things because of her disability, that it was too hard for her, that "special accommodations" should be made for her. She's now a 20 year old mommy who refuses to work, living off Baby Daddy instead (who's getting tired of her shit). *sigh*
SD16 is smart, she could very
SD16 is smart, she could very well be an honor roll student, attending a prestigious college on a scholarship BUT she is lazy. Does the minimum amount possible and sometimes not even that. But she is lazy because she has always been allowed to be lazy. Meh, as long as she's passing? DH doesn't care. Missed a bunch of school? Meh, As long as it's less than what she missed while living at BM's, then DH doesn't care. If this girl spent as much time and effort on getting good grades as she does manipulating people and spending money left and right she'd be a freaking rocket scientist with a minor in brain surgery.
SS15? LMAO dumber than 12 boxes of rocks. DH freely admits this. DH thinks it's because he was dropped on his head when he was a toddler. (seriously, he fell out of a 3rd story window while on BM's watch and cracked his skull) Meh, I think it's genetics because BM2 is dumber than 22 boxes of rocks. SS will NEVER amount to anything. I think he has failed his grade level the last 3 years straight and had to go to dumber school. I'll be a monkeys uncle if the kid actually graduates from HS. But hey, he doesn't need to because his entrepreneur skills from selling dope and smoking dope every day and top notch!
BM over here has always been
BM over here has always been the opposite. She tried to get SS benefits for my SD on the grounds that she was "slow". DENIED!
She tried to imply that she might need extra money on top of CS because SD was "mentally impaired". DENIED!
She always told DH that SD was going to have to live with her forever. She may get that one, as SD23 and her 2 kids have lived with BM since SD's divorce (SD has never lived on her own).
My DH knows that SD is not very bright but he prefers to say that she is "naive".
This as always my pet peeve
This as always my pet peeve w/ DH and SS37 (who is biologically DH's nephew, as most of you know). SS was going to be something big, something special. He's doing ok he pretty much floundered until the age of 32, HS dropout, yadda yadda. Thing is, this "the kid is so great" didn't spill over to OUR kids (MY kids). My oldest? One of the youngest lawyers in the state. My middle one? Got a full ride and a paying research fellowship to grad school. (her professor hand picked her to be his assistant, sight unseen, just on the merits of her under grad work)My youngest? Is a freshman in our very prestigious arts HS here. She got in for creative writing, has her first public reading in October.Yet my DH never trumpeted OUR kids, just 15yearold HS dropout SS37. Weird.
mine are
mine are brilliant.
BWHAHAHAHAAAHAAAAA
sorry, couldnt handle it any longer
well, mine are all very intelligent but they choose not to use it. oss and yss barely pass some classes. mss is naturally booksmart and breezes through school, but he thinks he'll be a pro-athlete. on occasion after hearing that from him, dh himself will say 'he's good and works hard, but... well i'm not gonna tell him that tho'..... at least dh is not blinded by rose-colored glasses.
eta- this is also the kid who cant figure out how to put water in the dog's bowl. book smart, no common sense.....
My DH let BM convince him a
My DH let BM convince him a couple years ago that sd needed to start kindergarten at 4 cuz she was so advanced. Her birthday is in Feb so she would be like over a year behind some of the kids. I told dh it was just BM wanting attention and they wouldn't let sd Starr early. I also told him the girl is just average. She's not dumb but she's average developmentally and average 4 year Olds aren't ready for kindergarten. Lo and behold she didn't start until the following year.
BM then pulled thus same thing about sd starting advanced classes. Total lie. They don't even have advanced classes. Luckily dh didn't fall for it this time.
My husband is the same way
My husband is the same way about my SD6. She's probably about average in her class. She's not dumb, but as soon as something requires extra effort or thought, she's done with it. I think she's got a lot of potential but she's just lazy. Her BM is very lazy and puts no effort into anything either, so it makes sense.
My husband is delusional about it. He thinks SD is a genius. He points out random things that she does as though it's amazing, when I can see it's just average kid stuff.
Same I'm beginning to think
Same
I'm beginning to think you and I are two peas in a pod lol
My DH thinks SS is the
My DH thinks SS is the smartest ever. He does have a 99 average but he isn't even in high school yet and his school is the smallest in the area-I mean dinky. The one music competition he entered he got extremely upset that he didn't win. I've told DH that he is very gifted but he is in a small school with little competition. It's hard to judge how he will do when he is competing with more than 30-40 other kids. Same with sports. He's on the school track team. Everyone makes the team. They don't have enough students.
My DH thinks both his kids
My DH thinks both his kids are geniuses. To be fair, the oldest skid (SD14) is pretty smart. She's in a special program that allows her to earn college credits in high school. As for SD12, he is so delusional in regards to her. He tells everyone how she's as smart as her sister and will follow in her footsteps. Um... she tried to spell "lens" as "lense" and "neck" as "neak" just last month... :?
Gee, DH, maybe if you got her off the phone and tablet occasionally...
Yeah, apparently DH's
Yeah, apparently DH's daughter is a genius too. She is very smart. She excels in school, she is self motivated, she does everything that is expected of her. That's nice. She's basically a good kid with some brains and a good work ethic. But since when does being a good little worker bee and a cog in the wheel equate to genius? She lives in a city where not too many people graduate from high school and our state ranks towards the bottom for average IQs. She is a big fish in a small pond. I think DH and BM are doing her a disservice in letting her think she is absolutely brilliant. Praise her for her accomplishments but don't set her up to be one of those kids who gets into a high ranking college and then commits suicide when they realize they are actually just average even though they were small town rock stars.