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Does your SO treat you different when the skids are around?

zerostepdrama's picture

Ever since the skids and I stopped getting along, I feel that DH treats me differently when they are around.

Normally he is very loving to me. Respectful. Treats me like a Queen. He wouldnt be okay with someone being rude and disrepectful to me.

However when the girl skids (YSD and MSD) are around, he changes.

It's almost like he is trying to please "2 sides" and cant do it. Of course since "Im just the 2nd wife" its me who gets the shaft.

DH almost acts like I am annoying him. Just for doing normal stuff that I would do any other day when the skids aren't around.

I actually try to give him extra space when the skids are around, so its not even like I am bothering him.

It's no wonder the skids dont treat me with respect, their own dad acts like I am annoying.

Its definetly a pattern with DH. Some times its more extreme then other days. But I definetly notice a different tone to me.

It's like he feels he is betraying the skids by being nice to me in front of them.....by doing that he is just reinforcing their feelings about me.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Comments

Willow2010's picture

DH seems to get moody a couple of days before though lol...
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This was how my DH was also. But he did not really treat me different if SS was around.

mixedemotionsaboutstepdaughter's picture

That's funny, because I do the same thing when SD7 is around. If DH and I kiss, she's all "Ewwww...gross..." and so I go up to DH and do it again (a couple of times). It's fun for me to annoy her like that! LOL

zerostepdrama's picture

He doesnt do it when SS is around. Just when MSD and YSD are around. We arent all really around each other a lot, so thankfully I dont deal with it that often.

Its usually more his tone or his body language :? He doesnt really say stuff that is rude, its just that he acts like I am not around. I dont know if I am putting it into words correctly.

I did write about it a few weeks back when YSD came over and he started acting like a jerk.

DaizyDuke's picture

Meh, to be quite honest, I think I treat DH differently when skid is around. When SD16 is off at a friends or GBMs or wherever, and I don't have to see the sickening Perfect Precious Princess reruns (trust me they have gotten old) everything is wonderful. But when SD is home, and he is serving her food in bed, always buying her something, acting like they are best buddies and... suddenly DH makes me sick and I don't even want to be around him.

zerostepdrama's picture

Oh I get this sometimes too. After about 30 mins of the skids being here he realizes what a bunch of heathens they are but instead of taking it out on them he acts all annoyed with me. WTF I didnt raise these kids! YOU did.

Mercury's picture

Not really to the extent you are describing. In the very beginning, he was stiff and awkward every time I was affectionate with him in front of them. I confronted that one head on since previously we had never been shy with our pda. He said they weren't used to seeing him with anyone other than their mother. Yeah, that didn't go over very well with me. He actually changed his tune immediately and tried to act normal that very same day after he realized how awful he sounded with his explanation. No problems since then though.

mixedemotionsaboutstepdaughter's picture

I'll admit that I'm pissy, and have a crappy attitude, right before SD7 comes to our house and pretty much the whole weekend that she's with us. It's not directed at DH, but he doesn't like my attitude and says I don't like SD7. He's right, I don't. She hogs him up and makes mean comments like, "My daddy loves me more" or "I'm getting ______, and you're not", etc. I know it's typical 7 year old behavior, but I don't like it and I feel DH should say something to her about it.

zerostepdrama's picture

YEP!
Basically he was trying to make them happy by excluding me and making sure they knew they were #1.

DaizyDuke's picture

BARF!

zerostepdrama's picture

Afraid of pushing them away. Being the "bad dad" that BM tells him he is. But she says that because she wants her kids to have everything and anything and be #1 and have all the attention and love.

zerostepdrama's picture

I dont think he really cares what she thinks. BUT when it comes to the kids she probably hits a nerve on some things. So if she says you are a bad dad because of X, Y, Z he may think okay I know I suck at X & Y and Z isnt true, but since I feel guilty about X & Y let me see what I can do about Z.

onstrike's picture

When sd isn't around,I get a nice hug to greet me when i get home. When she is here, i don't get a hug..it's almost like dh feels like he's "cheating on sd" by giving me a hug in front of her. It makes me sick. I told him recently that i deserve a nice greeting when i get home. Show me some respect! Get your ass up off the couch,dare to stop cuddling with sd,and give me a hug! What the hell?!?!

StepLady's picture

My husband is happy when all the kids are with us. It makes him happy that we are "all together" and that makes him want to snuggle me and do things as a "family" more so when they are all home with us. My ex lives far from me so when he as DD she is far from home. DH does not like this at all! Eventhough I am friends with my ex and we get along just fine, he worries a lot, that is his personality. So, when the kids are all with us, he is in a really good mood and I think it is really nice. He will also acknowledge how much more work the kids generate for me around the house and thanks for me for and also can spoil me a bit, which I do not complain about Blum 3

StepLady's picture

My husband is happy when all the kids are with us. It makes him happy that we are "all together" and that makes him want to snuggle me and do things as a "family" more so when they are all home with us. My ex lives far from me so when he as DD she is far from home. DH does not like this at all! Eventhough I am friends with my ex and we get along just fine, he worries a lot, that is his personality. So, when the kids are all with us, he is in a really good mood and I think it is really nice. He will also acknowledge how much more work the kids generate for me around the house and thanks for me for and also can spoil me a bit, which I do not complain about Blum 3