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Well, we are breaking up

sandra.c's picture

So last night we got in a huge blowout fight that ended with him packing his shit. He is still at the apartment right now and I don't know what to do. Since I have such a hard time letting go, I know there is a possibility that we will just ignore this and move on together. I think I want the split to stick though and I'm feeling really guilty about that.

Comments

DaizyDuke's picture

Oh honey, I know it's hard, BUT this man cheated on you with BM. I don't know what could be a worse offense? I don't know how you could possibly move past this, when the man still has to be in contact with this woman? Please don't "ignore" this and move on together, you are so much better than this.

Go find yourself a GOOD man, (hopefully one without a kid and a BM) that treats you with respect and look back at this little bump in your life's road and be glad that you got out when you did. {{hugs}}

misSTEP's picture

My advice? Let this one go. Get counseling if you continue to have guilty feelings about it. Do things that YOU want to do and, when you are truly happy with yourself, then find yourself a guy who will NOT cheat on you!

tessa12's picture

Really well said, "let this one go." Is just too much. He spends time with his son at home. No. Way. He's not being fair, and why he is packing his stuff? You should be! And he should be begging you to stay. He's childish.

jstorie's picture

If you want to work it out stay. But do not play the game where you get in a fight and want to split get back together. when you make a decision stick with it. The more teeter tottering you do the worse it gets.

Good Luck

No important decision happens overnight. Think it over.

We are here for you no matter!

Helena.Handbasket's picture

I would have to say you have a perfect out. And there's absolutely NOTHING to feel guilty about.

Bojangles's picture

Some wise words and I relate to a lot of this. My SO certainly went through the depression and confusion. He was crazy about me but in agonies over the failure of his marriage and the impact on the children and found it hard to let go of the future that was not to be. But, it's wrong for someone who has not achieved closure with his previous relationship to put a new partner through the wringer because he can't come to terms with or manage the situation. Ultimately we all need and deserve a functioning, supportive, loving partner - there is only so long you can let yourself be an emotional prop or a virtual punching bag for those problems if SO can't sort it out. I look back in my relationship and there were breakups that should have stuck. That's a hard thing to say when we're married and have 3 children and have had a lot of happiness, but I wish very deeply that I had not let myself be put through so much and deep down I think if I had had the courage of my convictions and walked away I would probably have found another love that could have been just as strong, but without all the baggage. But I was weak and didn't know what to do for the best, and I find it hard to quit. So I stayed. And the longer I stayed the harder it was to walk away.

kathc's picture

Please, let him go. You have no idea the years of hell some of us have gone through. For some, it's still hell. For others, we've learned ways to make it ok. But I doubt many of us would go through it again.