The adventures of Bio Son 14, Chapter 3
Last night was fun fun fun. We had a night packed full of lies, yelling, crying, etc! What fun for a Monday.
DH is a cop, has been for more than 20 years....we had a appt yesterday afternoon and I told my son to stay out of our room (like I should have to tell him, he knows this), but for the sake of my sanity I mentioned it again. Along with the phone and TV. My cop DH decides to "jimmy" the bedroom door so we'll know if he's been in there. He also set up the tv and phones.
As soon as we walked in the house DH said that he had been in there. He showed me how he rigged the door and it was clear that he was in our room. This is the 6th or 7th time he's been caught in our room. There are certain things in there, BBB you know what I'm talking about 
, that I don't want my freaking son to see! A parents Bedroom is private, no entrance allowed! Unless we are in there and say it's okay to come in.
BS comes in to see what all the fuss was about........DH asked him right out if he had been in there. BS lied right to both of our faces. DH went bizerk. He is one scarey mamma jamma when he gets hot under the collar. Well he was livid. He had enough of it all. I took BD 2 outside and let them two hash it out. It took the better part of 30 mins for my son to admit it. He was caught, red handed. DH even showed him how he knew. BS KNEW he was caught, but still lied to our faces. It makes me sick.
He got a little bit of a man handling last night......and it's good for his ass. I'm so happy that my DH finally has stepped up to showing BS that it's not just me parenting, it's me and DH. What he can get by me, he can't him. Where I'm weaker, DH sure as hell isn't. I think that sunk into his head last night.
After the whole thing was over BS came out of his room and played with BD, hugged DH and I both, told us that he loves us and he's sorry, that he will change, etc. I had to give him some head ache medicine though, DH scared him so bad his head was hurting! YAY DH!!! I guess I caved a little last night....maybe that should have been followed up with going to bed early, etc. But you would have to know DH to understand why a bitching like that from him is enough punishment for one night.
No problems this morning........we shall see what the day brings. I'm sure tomorrow I'll have chapter 4, though I wish I won't.
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Comments
Wow! That's another problem
Wow! That's another problem I have with MY kids. Of course, HIS kids NEVER do anything like that - they really don't, but I get tired of hearing it, you know? My kids will go in our room all the time. BS14 has asked me what "those things" are for and why do I have them. WTF!? Talk about being embarrassed and at a loss for words. Now we just lock the door when we're not home.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
onehappygirl...........hello,
onehappygirl...........hello, our boys are 14. They don't know what that's for? It's mortifying........they should be even more embarassed IMO to find anything that has to do with that and their mom's!!
Dh's kids never do that either, never. I am soooooooooooooooo sick of my kid always being the bad one.
I swear if my son would have DH's I wouldn't have married him.
We started locking our door, but it PISSES me off that I have to do that to keep him out of my room. I should be able to just say, stay out of my room, and that be that. But nope. WTF? Not only are there "things" in there, there are also shot guns, hand guns, gernades, pepper spray, tasers, etc!! Sometimes I think that's why he wants to be in there so bad! LOL! But my DH keeps it all put up and locked away, but BS knows it's in there.
I think DH scared him bad enough last night that he won't be going back in our room. BS is 5'4, 130 lbs.......DH 6'3, 220 lbs, and a mean face when he is pissed. I think that cured the room problem.
But damn, I wonder when he's going to give in and stop all this bullshit?
I know exactly how you
I know exactly how you feel!! I have raised my son (and daughter) to be able to talk to me about anything. To not be embarrassed and to say what they feel even if I don't like it. When I was with their father, I wasn't allowed to speak my mind. If I did, it wasn't what he wanted to hear, and I just learned to either keep my mouth shut or say something to keep him happy and off my case. I don't want my children feeling that way. But boy-oh-boy, there are somedays when it completely backfires. There is a point where speaking your mind becomes disrespect and I am pulling my hair out trying to deal with it, because I honestly don't know HOW to deal with it most days.
BS14 is very intelligent, and he can turn things around on me in an instant, and I am usually left speechless. It's hard to explain what I mean, but I think you understand. He also has his father's gift of being able to put people at ease, to read someone and become the person they want to see. But that gift is not there for me to see.
DH asked him last week, "if you acted toward your Gram the way you act with us, what do you think she would think of you?" BS14 said, "I don't think she would like me very much." Then he told us that he knows we won't stop loving us and he feels like he can be his true self when he's with us. So, I said, "So your true self is an asshole?" For once, I left him speechless. Since then, we've had very little trouble with him. I really think he has been trying, but I know it will slip again.
Also, I am constantly dealing with "Who did this?" DH: "Well, SS13 and SD9 wouldn't do anything like this." They are really good kids and most of the time, they don't do anything wrong - it's always MY kids. But once in a while they do get caught in a lie or being stupid, and I hate to say, but I'm thrilled to be able to call them out on it.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
OMG, I so know that feeling.
OMG, I so know that feeling. Anytime I hear DH saying "WTF" I just get chills up my spine because I know it's something that my son has done. I just know the voice and know when it's coming. But every now and again it's SD, not often, but here and there. The thing is, when it is SD she admits it, right off the bat. Saves her ass from so much trouble. My son, nope, hell no, he'll lie to the death.
I also know what you mean about being left speechless by bioson........mine is the exact same way. I swear you and I have the same boy at home. WE can never let them become friend, we'd be defeated in a instant! LOL
The funny thing is, if my
The funny thing is, if my boy gets caught, he will admit it. He says, "no sense lying, I'll just get in more trouble," which is the absolute truth.
However DH's kids, they will lie, lie, lie even if you caught them redhanded, which isn't often, but it does happen. When no one admits to doing something wrong, then I know it's one of DH's kids. Then we have to do an interrogation of the entire group, and if no one still admits it, we punish them all. Then, the kids do their own little investigation and the perp has to deal with a little peer punishment.
So weird how turned around all of that is, but it's how it works in our house.
You are so right - we cannot let our boys meet.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
This kid has really got it
This kid has really got it coming to him. So glad to hear that you and DH are a united front. That's the only way to succeed at this mess. Good for you!
We're taking a similar tack with DD14. She refused to come home last night so I called her friend for the address of where she was. Her friend offered to call there so I asked her to pass the message along that if the kid didn't call me right away with the address, I would be phoning the police. DD14 called in a heartbeat, gave me the address, and I drove to pick her up right away. She knows I'm serious from calling the police last Monday night. And the police know who we are and know her friends. They support us 100%.
I'm collecting all the friends' names, numbers, addresses and parents' names. If the parents are on board with our rules, the kid is allowed to go there. If not, oh well.
14 is the worst age so far to deal with. Cheers to strict parents and higher authorities!
Yeah, this year with my son
Yeah, this year with my son has been balls out. He's gone freaking NUTS.
Well this little man is just
Well this little man is just full of p*ss and vinegar isn't he?? wow I hope last night put some sense into his lil empty head! I'll be sending choochoo to you shortly,k? lol...and I KNOW what you mean about the bedroom thing! I had to put a lock on my closet door just to keep nosey SD out of my "stuff"...
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
Ding Ding Ding, we have a
Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barbie's kid isn't the one breaking into the bedroom, it's her SD!!! GASP!! It must feel good to have the "good" kid huh?
Oh, and you can't send choo choo here. I would shoot myself before I ever go through this mess again. Right in the head dude.
My BD is my "good kid". I think everyone has a really bad one and a really good one. My mom did, I'm the good one
My DH does, SD 15 is the good one, but BD2 will be better 
I deserve my good kid now.
lmao, I was the good kid
lmao, I was the good kid believe it or not! lol, my brother was the devil and i was the saint. I know,weird right?!
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
Nope, not weird. Just
Nope, not weird. Just proves my theory!! LOL...........................but damn girl, knowing you like I do now, your brother must have been a serial killer for you to be the good one? Just kidding.......I'm sure you were a sweet girl, like me, but once the dude gene came into the picture it was all over for a few years!
ok seriously now I'm
ok seriously now I'm cracking up with my hoarse laugh from being sick! I TOTALLY needed that laugh today though no matter how sickly I sound!!
oh man, too funny!
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
awwwww.....and picking on
awwwww.....and picking on you makes me feel so much better to!! I love my barbie!!! ((hugs))
love you too honeybunny!!
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland
"sheepishly raises hand" I
"sheepishly raises hand" I was the BAD one! I really was...... BUT I never got caught, so was I really that bad???/ hheheheeheh
I would LOVE for my
I would LOVE for my stepdaughters, ages 31 and 38, to come to their senses and forgive their dad. They are destroying my marriage by their actions. We know their bio-mom had a lot to do with this. Sometimes you just can't control what you can't control -- I pray your 22 yr old comes to her right mind. I hope my husband comes to his so we can live out the rest of our lives together. Best of luck to you and yours!
My dear Jen! I thought
My dear Jen! I thought about you all night last night... no wonder you were heavy on my mind!!!
I just don't even know what to say other than I'm just so sorry you have to go through all this!!! Ugh!!! And I did think last night that maybe, when this is all over, you should write a book about it!! I really think it would be a bestseller because you are not alone in the rotten boy department!! My brother was one too!!
I think I will write that
I think I will write that book. I'll title it "If I make it to his graduation it'll be a miracle". LOL
The way I figure it, one of us will have to give soon. It isn't going to be me. If he keeps it up I'm going to take a day off work and go to school with him, each and every class, lunch, even ride the damn bus. Wonder how mortifying that will be? LOL
I remember my mom saying the
I remember my mom saying the EXACT same thing about my brother! LOL!!! I just wish your sweet boy could get a grip on his anger.... I know that's what's stemming all of this mess! If he could just put a handle on it and step away from it, all this would be over!! If only it was that easy to make them realize that!!
I'm glad DH got involved. I
I'm glad DH got involved. I know it must have been hard to keep quiet while watching his wife get disrespected.
I know its hard but I truly believe you are on the right track. Hopefully his apology and promise to change is sincere. Good Luck to you guys!!