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An appeal to ST.

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:00am

This has been talked about amungst most of us. A friend talked to me about it alot last night, and were trying to do this per PM but it's impossible to reach everyone that way.

I was going to copy and past the message we were trying to send, but instead I'll make it short and sweet.

The only way we are ever going to get this site back to the helpful wonderful place that we love, without the constant turmoil from that one member (we all know who she is),

is if we IGNORE her. Totally ignore. Don't respond to anything that she writes. I know it's hard to do it, I've been called every name under the sun by this cancerous troll. And sometimes I spout off right back.......it's really really hard to not.

But I think if we all agree to do this, and to keep doing, that we can get her to leave all on her own. She'll be nothing but ignored, she won't have anything left to feed off of if we don't give it to her.

I want this site back. I miss it, I miss being able to talk here without fear of the attack from this ridiculous person. I mean honestly you guys, we can't even post a single blog without it getting turned into a fight by her. But it happens because we let it. So let's stop it.

What do you guys think?

Comments

stepmom008's picture

Submitted by stepmom008 on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:04am

I'd like to think it could work but I don't think it's going to. I feel like the only thing that would get it away from us is if a bunch of people leave ST. I don't want to do that but if nothing else is going to be done, I might feel like I don't have a choice. It's abusive.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:05am

I will try. It's honestly hard because when you have something innocent like asking a question turned into something cheap and dirty, it's hard to not say anything back.

But I will try, because you are right, that is the only way anything is going to get accomplished.

____________________________________________________________________

"If it sounds like I think I am better than you, it's because I do."

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:07am

It is terrible, I just don't know what else to do anymore.

Why should WE be ran off when she is the only one with the problem?

stepmom008's picture

Submitted by stepmom008 on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:09am

It's not being run off, it's making a statement about how normal members aren't going to be abused and pushed around. I'll try but man, it's hard.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:11am

:? I'm lost... can anybody PM me or tell me whats going on. If it is what I think it is...

Sincerely,

G

"I will die on my feet before I live on my knees"

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:12am

I'll try....I really will....but I see no reason why this member is permitted to be the negative dark cloud around here with no repercussions....seems like if other posters "cause a stir" they get called out....however, I have yet to see anything posted toward this member regarding her negative comments....personally, her referring to BBB as a hooker is just too much for me....if she is not help accountable, then ST is no longer for me....

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 04/23/2010 - 8:39am

delete

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:17am

It won't work. Someone will always comment back to the blogs. Even though some of the comments are rude and offensive, she still has the right to be on here. This is America. But I've said it before (not to be too preachy) ... whoever doesn't like a blog or is offended by it, just don't respond. Ignore it and move on to something more productive. There are a lot of blogs that I don't agree with and roll my eyes at, so I just move along...

stepmom008's picture

Submitted by stepmom008 on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:19am

It's usually not the original blog that's the problem. It's another person hijacking other people's blogs with the intent of personally insulting someone. It's got nothing to do with the blogs themselves.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:19am

You know what, you're right.

Ignore isn't going to work.

It's impossible when she's calling people whores, idiots, etc.

I just can't stand all the pm's I'm getting where people are saying they are going to leave because of this ONE member!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!

What can we do you guys??

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:22am

Unfortunately, there will always be stupid, irritating people. Some of them go away eventually, to irritate others. Maybe we can cross our fingers and hope.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

LotusFlower's picture

Submitted by LotusFlower on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:22am

come on faking.....so if a kid in school harasses another child, does that kid not get suspended, or at least detention????..If an adult harasses another adult, can we not take action?.....This happens in America every day because we are supposed to have a code of conduct because we are all adults....its just wrong...and its getting old...I'll respect anyone's opinion, come on...the other BS is getting all of us no where...

A mother is not defined by the "b" or the "s" in front of her name, she is defined by how she handles the "mother" part.....

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:29am

this isnt the same as a child being harrassed. were adults here ... or at least we should be. we can control our reaction to the blogger. it isnt physical abuse its harrassment. let her chime in if she likes. if everyone else simply ignores it and moves on, maybe she'll leave. she's getting the reaction that she's looking for. that's why she's still here.

CrystalRE's picture

Submitted by CrystalRE on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:26am

I think the majority of us are trying to help. I know I originally believed that she was trying to understand her SD better but the more I read her blogs the more Im starting to think she is just bitter and jealous of her SD and looking for people to "side with her". When they dont she becomes abusive and that is counterproductive.

The thing that I appreciate most about this site is people giving me advice about my situations even if it isnt what I want to hear. I want to improve my relationship with my blended family and many of you have helped me do that by getting me to see things from a different persepective.

Amazed's picture

Submitted by Amazed on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:28am

*sigh* i took my blog down bc it was childish of me to whine about getting my feelings hurt by her. She is one massive energy vampire and we can't allow her to suck the energy from this site any longer. She's invisible to me from now on. I don't care if she's allowed to remain here...she doesn't even exist as far as I'm concerned.

____________________________________________________________________________
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:31am

I like you BBB Smile LOL no homo!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,

G

"I will die on my feet before I live on my knees"

GiGi222's picture

Submitted by GiGi222 on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:29am

This should just be a reminder to all of us that we can't control the actions of others, only ourselves.
I watch everyone feed into her madness and it makes me SMH. Why? Because it fuels the fire. Then you end up wasting your precious time answering her responses instead of helping those that truly need it.
All you CAN do is ignore. Dawn and Admin have so much on their plate between their personal lives and this that they can't always deal with situations the way we would like.
Why aggravate yourself with this nonsense?

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:36am

It's just so hard GiGi when you write a blog for help and you get called a "failure of a parent" or watch your friends be called hookers...........it's so difficult to not say anything.

GiGi222's picture

Submitted by GiGi222 on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:48am

Believe me I know hun, I have read all of the stuff that was said in your blog and I felt awful for it.
But you and I both know it isn't true.
I just feel like why should you waste your precious time and energy on someone that could care less about you or what you have to say? You are better than that Jen, I know it. Don't let her or anyone else have the satisfaction of bringing out the worst in you, you are too good for that Smile

HennyPen's picture

Submitted by HennyPen on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:51am

But Jen, those of us who read and watch and truly appreciate good advice and input know that those things being said by "she who shall not be named" are crap. It saddens me that she is able to suck people in to responding and she is getting what she wanted, to upset and cause chaos. If people truly ignored her, she would lose the control that is being given to her.

I refuse to respond to those types of posts, because I refuse to give them what they are seeking to do!

sometimes saying nothing at all speaks volumes! Smile

Abalyn's picture

Submitted by Abalyn on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:49am

I just wanted to chime in here to ask if ST could add a feature to ignore a member? Many other sites that I frequent have that feature. That way the member can carry on as they please, but I don't have to witness it. Also, ST wouldn't have to manage it, the individual members could manage it themselves.

Also, I wanted to add my personal mantra when it comes to dealing with people, like BM, for example...

"Don't argue with stupid people. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."