I wouldn't say obsessive, but I remember spending so much time trying to figure her out and why she does the things she does. And in the end it didn't really make a difference. She is who she is and why should I continue to let her take up space in my head when she is obviously not thinking about me? Why should I give her that satisfaction?
I like to think of BM as FH's problem. Mostly because my skids BM is tame compared to others on here. I feel like all the extra attention I give to her and her "next move" takes away from more important things in my life, like work, my BS and my relationship.
Yea it sux, the CS, custody issues, skids behavior, etc. But I like to take the moments of silence in between and really enjoy them, because I never know what will happen next

I've had my moments of feeling this way. She has caused us so much trouble over the years that it's easy to get into the loop of wondering what she'll do next and obsessing about being prepared for whatever she throws our way. It's gotten easier lately -- not because she's necessarily easier to get along with, but because we have less contact with her. I think that's key.

UCSM (BB)

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin

I used to be totally obsessed with her. I had to everything about her...what made her tick...what made DH marry her, what they shared...if he used the same moves in bed on her as he did with me, what sweet things she did for him,etc...the WHOLE nine. I HAD to know. It became a sort of obsessive illness for me. It was awful. She had more space in my head than my husband did. I don't even know why I was like this...I just HAD to know everything.

Ironically enough, one of the "trolls" we had on here really shook me out of my obsession. She said something about how ridiculous it was how much time we spend obsessing about our husbands ex. She went on to say some additional hateful things and after reading it I realized I had to stop thinking about BM and put her out of my head for good.

I still don't understand why i was so concerned with her...but it's in the past so oh well!

~The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.~
Oscar Wilde

I know I thought about BM way more than she did me! There were alot of things that I didn't know about her, alot of things that I didn't want to know.....refused to ask....because I didn't really want to know. But still wondered.

I did alot of the "head her off at the stop" actions. Pre strike planning.

I don't do any of that anymore. If she causes drama DH knows how to deal with it.......we don't even bring it up any longer. If we do it's just to make the other one away of a instance that we know is going to happen!

I used to waste tons and tons of time, thought, and brain cells on her! I'm soooo glad I've found a way to be done with it all that has to do with her!

Hey Bitch.... I totally feel ya! I have felt the same way that you described.... good for you for shaking the obsession! I felt the SAME EXACT WAY with my ex-dh's ex (bm).... I'm not involved with that bm anymore and this time around with bf's ex I'm not so obsessed..... I find myself from time to time wondering why she does the things she does or what shes thinking.... but the need to know just isn't there this time.... I know this sounds absolutely petty and ridiclous.... and I swear to you I'm not a snob.... BUT.... I think my obsession is not there with THIS bm because she doesn't intimidate me one bit.... she's not pretty in the least (prior bm was) and I think that bothered/intimidated me.... she's a lesbo now (so I'm thinking she doesn't want bf back :)).... she has nothin on me and bf makes that clear too so I really don't have to 'worry' about her.....

If that made any sense....

i wouldn't say obsessed.... but trying to figure out the next step and keeping things for court - got to be a bit much at times.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

not me I couldn't care less what she thinks or does. I spend no time thinking about her....I came here for SD help. i don't like the lady nor do I think she likes me but we are able to communicate.

It is for SD, thats probably the only thing we agree on! But I really wouldn't know, don't know really anything about the lady.

I would say that a handful or so people on this site are "obsessed" with the BM.

In some way, I am "obsessed"... I'm still new to this, but so far it's been always an effort to prepare for what's going to come next. I don't care to know anything about her personally or what she does with her own life, it's simply a matter of trying to predict some of her actions so as to "insure" my family, or figuring out her motivations for some some past action, so as to be armed the next time around. And I think I do it because DH sometimes seems so unwilling to prepare, and then handles things too emotionally, or too hastily.