My bio lays out the groundwork for this blog, but a quick recap is that I am in my second marriage with my husband after being divorced from him for 5.5 years. The first marriage lasted 5 years, and we've been remarried for 20. There is a lot of history now between me and my stepkids, who were 10 and 8 when I first became a SM. Now, they are married with children of their own. Our relationship has been up and down through all these years. It is the BM that is the root of any problems between us.

For more than 30 years, the BM has always found a way to twist words, manipulate, and cause her own children unnecessary pain by interfering in their relationship with me. I tolerated more than I care to admit through the years - words being twisted, outright lies, you know the drill. Finally, about three years ago, I decided I had enough and stopped. Literally.

The offending incident was no worse than others in the past. It came down to a simple realization on my part: My SKids are now adults with their own children. One even has a stepchild of her own. They have known me most of their lives and know that I have treated them with kindness and have tried to be close to them, despite what their mother may have said about me through the years. They know me. Any type of relationship is now up to them because I will no longer reach out to them. I actually told my SD that her BM was no longer welcome at my house.

And, I have to admit, the decision was one of the best I've ever made for myself. Now, the SKids no longer have to wonder how I feel about things.

Oh, and if you are wondering about my husband and where he stands in all this ... well, let's just say he is not exactly supportive of my decision and still tries to push the SKids and me together. But, it's like I told him, it's not up to him. It's up to them. If it is meant to be, they will one day realize that the wicked person in all this is not me.

And the BM? I don't care. I don't worry. I don't ask. What a wonderful feeling.