They don't fee like me family!
So Fathers day is approaching and i love to see my dad on father's day as i am a real daddies girl! But daddies little girl has a 9 week old son that i would like to take to see his grandad on his first fathers day.
The only thing is that the Skids are here on Sundays and that means i can't see my dad - well i can BUT they would have to come to my parents which i don't feel comfortable with, my parents won't mind but they were a little concerned about mind and OH relationship at the beginning thinking i was taking on too much so i don't really want to take them!
To me they are not my family, my family is my parents and brothers, my other half and my son, they are the people i love more than anything and want to spend my time with! I know the skids have to be with us but i can't seem to feel them as my family!
All i want to do is spend quality time the 3 of us and this doesn't happen as OH works a lot and his only spare day is Sunday when the skids are here!
I know he has to see them, i get that but i hate it, i wish i felt different but i can't - to me they are a constant reminder of his ex and his previous life and she has caused me so much upset!
I don't know what to do!
Of course you should be able
Of course you should be able to go and take your child to your families home. Children should go and get out, that is an old wives tale to keep children in. Children build immunites by getting out, keeping them in is not a healthy thing to do all the time. A new baby, and a first fathers day, what a great joy, everyone in your family should enjoy the day with this new member of the family. I know how you feel, I hate my skids, they are teens and obnoxious and rude and try to butt in on every pay day. It pisses me off and they are takers like their mother. They do not beleive you acheive things from working but from someone else. The older is twenty and never had a job or a drivers licence. He lays on his mothers couch most of the time, actually they
fight over the couch. None work only live off a little old man that the younger son looks exactly like. So I can relate to how you feel, I would take them all before I would stay home, they are going to be around always, I know that sucks, but sometimes we have to pick out battles and you are going to have to let this one go, remember it is your husbands day too. My husband is going to go to his family camp with his two boys and I am not going because I hate them, his parents are going to be there and my mother in law is a real bitch and needy and whinny so I chose to work and come home after. But I am doing an evening cook out for my husband and he can drop his spoiled imbosils off at their mothers after the camp ordeal. So just take them and enjoy your family.
Cant YOU just go with your
Cant YOU just go with your baby to your parents house?? Why does OH and SK's have to go too?
And it's an old wives tale that newborns cant leave the house. Go see your dad! You are a grown woman...you dont HAVE to invite those little spawns to go with you. They should be visiting THEIR dad anyways.
Now that you have your own child, it is the start of MANY times that you will notice it is "you and your kid" against "him and his kids" even though yours is his too. Get used to taking your child and doing things without OH. No matter how much you hate it, it wont be "the 3 of you" anytime it's visitation time...believe me, I KNOW first hand!
I agree - it ain't gonna get
I agree - it ain't gonna get any easier. the divide will always be there. if you aren't at the point in your relationship where you can take everyone to your dad's, then you're at the point where you can go yourself. I've been with my BF for 7 years and I fully intend to spend the day (with my BD) with my dad and NOT with BF. he's overly devoted to his BD and can't find the time to spend 2 minutes with my BD on Father's Day, even though my BD hasn't seen her dad in 1 1/2 years and even though BF said last year he'd make time for her this year. I'm so PO'd I intend to ignore the day as far as he's concerned.
I agree with you-when my
I agree with you-when my parents visit (they have to drive 6 hours to get here) they only spend a day or two and go home. I tell BF he has to find something else to do with FSD10 if he's at work, because I'm not going to spend time babysitting his family at the expense of rare time with my own.
Thanks for all the messages
Thanks for all the messages guys although i am a little confused as to why i need to be confined to the house because i have a 9 week old. We have been going out to visit family since he was 5 days old, otherwise my relatives that do not drive would have not seen him! I don't think visiting my parents counts as a crowd!
I often think about visiting my family alone but my partner works every other saturday so he only really gets Sundays to spend with our son so me taking him to my parents would mean he doesn't see him much.
It is a difficult one and one that cannot ever sorted, basically i know that i have to just deal with it but at least i know i am not alone in my feelings.
My father is a doctor so i am
My father is a doctor so i am sure if i was supposed to be locked away in the house and not go anywhere then he would be telling me so!
I was even told before leaving hospital that you should get out and about as much as possible, as long the baby is wrapped up warm if it is cold and out of sunlight if hot. Taking your child to visit your own family is NOT a cause for concern and being out in the fresh air is the best thing for a baby.
Thanks for the advice and perhaps things are different where you.
Well isn't your partner
Well isn't your partner entitled to spend the first Fathers Day with his new son?
You are involved with tis man and in having a baby with him provided a half brother for his sons. You never know, oneof those kids you can't stand may be the only person with the right kind of kidney to save your sons life. Stranger things have happened. Who knows what the future holds.
I know you want to spend Fathers Day with your Dad. But if it wasn't for your partner you would not be providing your father with a grandson.
So you don't like his kids. Well put up with them for a few hours and then tell your partner you are just going to see your father and will be back by xx o'clock.
What i am saying is that i
What i am saying is that i want my son to spend the day with his dad obviously but i also wish to see my dad too and if it was not for the skids we would just go to my parents for the day and everyone would be happy.
Instead the skids will come over and sit there on there laptops not saying anything and therefore making it a miserable day!
I TOTALLY get what you are
I TOTALLY get what you are saying and how you feel like there is no way out of it. Happens to me all the time. It's just not that easy to "demand" how things will be and still have it go smoothly. The whole idea of trying to "do something different" is so it wont have to be so G.D. uncomfortable and stupid and not what you want...but if you put your foot down or just go do your own thing, you end up with the cold shoulder or whatever and it's no better than just leaving it the way it was!
Seems like the ONLY way anything ever changes is if we can somehow come up with some kind of logic that DH would agree with...THEN he'll change it and it will be his idea, and all will be right with the world. It's just really hard to win against that guilt. No matter what we say, we get the "Yah but...if I dont do it this stupid way, I'll be a shitty dad" and that's that.
"...and dont talk to any brick walls either...."