Well I took some folks advice and handed the reins over to my wife in regards to her enforcing rules in the household with my sd 10 and ss 9. One person told me my wife should be the main disiplinarian with her out of control kid and not me. So I backed off being in total agreement with that. Everything seemed to be getting better for the 2 short days she stuck to her guns then it all went to hell in a handgag. By the end of the week sd was arguing with her Mom refusing to back down one bit with her smart a.. backtalk when told to do something. My wife would say go to your room and a minute later she would be back downstairs as though she was told to come out. My wife soon gave in and let my skids have there way. I told her she has to be consistent and stand her ground but she always gives in. Her daughter needs and gets constant attention from her Mom ( Thats another whole post/blog ) and my wife feeds into it. Her son automatically burst into tears if he is even so much as told to take a bath. Like I said I backed off of my constant rule enforcing and it has blown up in my face. After one week of staying on the sidelines we are right back to square one. The skids come home from school will not start their homework, will not tidy up their rooms, argue with each other and their Mom and tear the house apart. I have told my wife over and over begged and pleaded to take control and stop leaving me to handle all this. We will have a big fight over this she will promise me the next day it will be different then it goes right back to the way it was. My wife is very gifted when it comes to teling everyone what they want to hear. She will tell me one thing her kids another then do what she wants. Our budget is tight right now and my sd takes expensive dance classes. This is fine but costs over one hundred and fifty dollars a month for the 4 classess. I told my wife maybe she could drop one or two of them so we can save some money. ( Their deadbeat bio dad pays zero child support and this all falls on me ) My wife said okay and then lied to me and went behind my back and signed her up for a fifth class costing now more money. When I confronted her about this she said well the little bit... girl in my daughters class was bragging she is taking a new one so I signed my daughter up to. I said well we cant afford it right now and she promised to cancel it. Well here I come to find out she never cancelled it just lied to me. Today she also lied to me while I was gone at work. My wife had 2 doctors appointments and my skids were off school today. I told her to please not leave them home alone they are to young and because they refuse to follow rules will tear the house apart. She said your right then left them at home anyway. I found out they were at home when they accidently called my cell phone instead of hers. I called my wife and four times she lied insisting the kids were with her when they were not. I told her this is part of the problem we have with your skids because your dishonesty is rubbing off on them. Her 10 year old daughter has already become a pro at this tell people what they want to hear like Mom. She will promise to follow a rule and do just the opposite the minute your back is turned. I just do not know what to do to change this. I have told my wife over and over honesty and communication are important in our relationship. She will then promise to be open and honest then go right back to squaure one. We have been to couples counseling and she will promise our Counselor she is going to go right home and practice his advice. She cant even be honest with him. Once were at home she does just the opposite of waht the Counselor told her to work on.