Advice Please :)
Hi everyone,
Im new here so I apologise if i havent posted this in the right place but I really need to have a bit of a rage & ask for some advice please.
Me & my other half have been together for over a yr now. He has the most nasty horrible ex ever! Shes with someone else but still has a problem with me. My oh got called into work so I looked after his 8yr old with my 3. I asked him if the ex was ok about that & he said yes. Over the weekend I saw a text on his phone from her saying "What part of I dont want her looking after her do you not understand". So she obviously wasnt happy about me looking after her & doesnt want me near her! I cant talk to him about it coz I saw it on his phone, my own fault i shouldnt have looked never done it before dont know why I did it this time! I just feel terrible about things now. Ive always been nice to his daughter, I dont know why the mother has such a problem with me. I havr to say though that his daughter is very spoilt & she plays people off each other if she doesnt get her way. Weve spoken about this & he agrees but feels he cant say anything coz shes been through her parents splitting up etc, so have mine but they dont act like her! Also if he does say anything the ex gives him a load of crap.
I love him loads but the ex having a problem with me is really hard to deal with. I thought by now it would have been better but its not.
Any advice would be really appreciated X
He's probably ignoring her
He's probably ignoring her texts, seriously, I suggest you do the same thing. The girl will tell all manner of lies to her mother but, you know what? That's on them! Relax, easier said than done...I know!
The woman is a bitch, she's teaching her daughter how to become one too...at least that's what it looks like to me.
Trust your other half, he could be wimping out by passively ignoring her but, honestly, is what she says to be taken seriously? It's his time with his daughter and he has the authority over her and so do you when you have her.
The ex is to be ignored, the girl is not to be believed most of the time but just being there for her and helping your other half out is a big thing. I can only urge you not to take it to heart, or say anything negative about her to the girl. The best thing you can do, I did it, is to get on with your own lives and accept that the girl is part of that and deal with her accordingly, I'd let your other half deal with her mostly!
There are ways to call the girl out on lies, sometimes just a 'look' can make a kid feel uncomfortable enough to blurt out what's going on...LOL Or ask her 'seriously?' A sense of humor is important too when you have SKids.
Above all I urge you to ignore the ex, she wants you to react and preferably in front of the girl so that tittle tattle can get back to her and feed her warped mind. She gets off on it! Stop letting her do that! Your other half probably figured it out already, right? He is ignoring her too.
Thank you both so much. I
Thank you both so much. I feel so much better after reading your repkies. Yep ignoring is the way to go! And if she doesnt want me looking after her daughter & her dad cant then she'll have to come & get her whuch she wont like coz it will be interferring with her own plans! Youre both so right. Thanks again X