Problem with attention seeking children!
Hi, longtime lurker who's been visiting this site for some help when I feel like a totally clueless SM!
My fiancee are I are getting married next year, and he has 2 girls, aged 3 and 5. Now, I know no ones perfect but I'm having a bit of an issue with the 5 year old currently, as she has become an extreme attention seeker and hates it when I interact with SD3. SD3 has some developmental issues, and isn't talking probably, and is currently undergoing speech therapy.Originally we had our problems with SD3 because she'd cry CONSTANTLY, which I think was due in part to the fact that she couldn't communicate herself properly to other people. Since she's started speech therapy, I've been helping her and we've gotten pretty close. She's a sweet kid.
SD5 however, is constantly jealous of any attention that SD3 gets. Going as far to climb onto monkey bars when being left alone with her grandmother and flinging herself off, resulting in a broken arm. When asked why she did it, it was because SD3 was being pushed on the swings. Behaviour like this is a constant with her.
Today was something of a last straw for me, when we took the kids for a walk with the dog. SD5 was constantly rude to me, and my fiancee told her off repeatedly and she will sullenly say "sorry" but then about 30 seconds later say something else that is rude, and kept kidding muddy puddle water up at me.
I decided to just completely disengage from her for the rest of the day, and ignored her. That might be wrong, but I couldn't hack it any longer. Then she became extra needy and kept trying to hug me. When I said I didn't want a hug until she apologised and told me why she'd been like this, she sat on a sofa sulking.
Me and the fiancee want a kid of our own in a couple of years. Whilst we think SD3 would embrace this, I have reservations about the attention seeking SD5 is displaying and I just want to know - is this normal!? Does anyone else have problems with just ONE skid???
I agree; I don't understand
I agree; I don't understand why Daddy didn't take her back home. If neither of you can get a handle on a 5 year old, read some books or get a counselor. The jealousy is normal, and worse in some children who for some reason are just much more needy when it comes to attention. Her cup may never seem to be filled.
Nothing a smack on the rump
Nothing a smack on the rump each and every time she pulls this shit won't fix. Light her butt up.
Sadly Rags smacking is not
Sadly Rags smacking is not allowed when it's a SK. Either it's against the law in your country or it's something the CO does not allow. Or it's used against you by the primary caregiver.
If you are not comfortable or
If you are not comfortable or can't smack the rump then Dad can smack the rump and solve the problem. In the US rump smacking is perfectly legal in all states but Delaware for anyone acting en loco parentes and that includes Sparents.
Not sure if a CO can forbid something that is otherwise legal. I do know that what is illegal cannot be made legal by any contract so it is logical to assume that nothing legal can be made illegal under a contract. At least that makes sense to my legal layman's engineeric brain.
Some of our members who are legal professionals may be able to shed some clarity on this.
Rags & tog we live in South
Rags & tog we live in South Africa. Our CO's are not the same as yours, I am assuming. Discipline has to be agreed by both parents in the parenting plan. As does religion, schooling and so forth. Additionally our courts 95% of the time will find in favor of the mother. It's a minor miracle for a father to get primary residence or primary caregiver awarded by our courts.
Your CPS are worlds apart from our Social Services who seldom get involved in cases that do not involve sexual or physical abuse. And even if physical abuse is proved the children will often go back in to that home under supervision. In order to get any kind of intervention in a divorce we have to go back to High Court (at huge cost), family court no longer handles these matters. An urgent application in high court takes up to 6 months to be heard. However a parent with primary residence can with hold visitation without much concern for what the courts will do.