SIL's poor Email etiquette
My sister in law recently sent out an email announcement with cc’s as follows: myhusband@abc.com, exwife@abc.com and me@abc.com. Exactly in that order. Myself, I find that a passive aggressive expression of some hostility. It wasn’t an existing list of cc’s, it was a new one, so it wasn't an accidental oversight.
Here is my question. Am I overreacting to take offense at this deliberate positioning of addresses with the exwife inserted between ours? We have been married for 17 years and he has been divorced from the ex for 20 years.
My take on it is this.
Best option: My husband should mention to his sister this is really crossing a boundary, and that she is free to communicate with whomever she wishes, but in future when sending out email don’t insert my ex wife’s address in between mine and my wife’s. Unfortunately this won’t ever happen even though it should.
Option 2: Should I send SIL an email asking her why she did that? This isn’t really a good option because I know she will come up with some cockamaney excuse and offer an insulting non-apology about being sorry that my feelings were hurt and that I shouldn’t be so sensitive.
Option 3: Just ignore it and her?
I am curious to know how others would respond to this situation.
Honestly, I think you are
Honestly, I think you are way overacting. When I send emails I just pull them out of the address book in whatever order they fall. I really doubt she took the time to do this. I would just let it go. Pick your battles.
I don't think this was done
I don't think this was done intentionally, and even if it was, letting her know that something this little gets to you might turn this into something more than it really is.
Also, think about it, if someone came to you about the order of who you cc'd, b/c they felt it was seriously crossing boundaries, wouldn't you think they were being silly?
___________________________________________________________________________
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
I understand how you made
I understand how you made that leap and why it bugs you, but unless you have a reason to believe it was intentional (other hostile behavior) it probably wasn't. And if it was, you shouldn't care what she thinks because she is being a trivial ass. That being said, I can tell you that sometimes I forward emails (jokes) to a bunch of people. My dh is often third or fourth in the cue and since I know he is sensitive, I always end up moving him to first. I don't put him third or fourth to send a message or because he isn't the love of my life or someone else is more important. It is just the way my brain works.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
For me this wouldn't be
For me this wouldn't be worth the battle. I got a group email from my SD that included her husband, parents, inlaws, an aunt and me. I thought nothing of the order -- her dad was last, her aunt first. I was just glad to hear from her.
Thank guys. There has been
Thank guys. There has been lots of other truly hostile actions, but I was just wondering about her putting my husband's ex wife's email smack dab between his and mine in the cc list wasn't deliberately done, especially since she has told my husband, her brother, she doesn't even communicate with his ex anymore. I think it has been more upsetting for him, than for me.
But the important point is you are right about picking your battles. This is just a tiny incident in the scheme of things.
Thanks again!