I’ve had it
It's been a while since I have been on here. My daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy three years ago and I have been really struggling. She is 20 and moved back home after a series of seizures at her college. She currently attends our local university, and has to live at home, but she managed to make President's list. She is doing better, but I still struggle because she still has grand mal seizures every once in a while. So I've had my share of stress.
My problem is my 20 year old stepson, who still lives with us, doesn't work or attend college, and constantly has friends over and has his girlfriend over. I don't agree with her spending the night, especially since she is 27. She's never worked a day in her life and she and her mother both live off disability. I work 40 hours a week and when I come home, I don't want to have to worry about feeding extra people or dealing with his friends and girlfriend, but that often happens.
I said something today to my husband about this today and all he said was maybe he should just leave then, and has given me the silent treatment the rest of the night. I don't care at this point. Maybe it's time for me to end it because my opinion clearly doesn't matter.
As soon as he plays the he
As soon as he plays the he "is leaving" card tell him not to let the doorknob hit him in the ass on his way out. Making sure to give him clarity that his spawn and the spawn's F-buddy go with him. Rekey the locks as soon as SO leaves the house next time. Don't give him a key. No key for his spawn or the spawn's F-buddy either.
He is a POS. So is his spawn. Your DD is pursuing her future. Even with a notable incurrable condition. That your DH is gaslighting you with his "I'll just leave" bullshit is nauseating. SS is lying around with some disability queen gobbling his knob while daddy gets his fee fees hurt when he is presented with reality. STBXSO should try parenting instead of facilitating this POS SS's crap and allowing disability GF invade the home. She has a disability queen mommy to feed her. She needs to get ehr ass back to her Gov't food program mommy's house. Save yourself, boot their asses. All three of them.
Take care of you. You and your DD will thrive beyond belief with your STBXSO and his failed family baggage in your pasts.
I know the situation is not
I know the situation is not funny, but your way with words just made me snort-laugh!
I get frustrated.
I'm just trying to do the shocked straight tactic so people will actually take direct active action to solve their problems with a failed semi-human for a partner.
I'm glad I could help you snort-laugh. It is better than ripping our hair out in empathetic frustration.
I don't blame you for being
I don't blame you for being upset. Your daughter is going to school despite a health condition, working towards a degree that will lead to her independence. Stepson is loafing around with a bunch of losers. In your home. Your husband ahould be ashamed of himself for not guiding his son on a path to self-sufficiency.
Well, should he mention that
Well, should he mention that maybe he should leave again, tell him "bye!". You could offer to help him pack. Your life would no doubt be much more peaceful if he left and took Frick and Frack with him.
"I'll leave" = the little boy
"I'll leave" = the little boy's way of saying I am not mature enough to sit down and discuss this with you. I'm not mature enough to admit that my son and his GF are losers and I'm ashamed of them.
This is infuriating. The little boy needs to buck up, listen to you, and work with you to resolve the issue. And then act. I hope he comes around.
This is spot on and not the
This is spot on and not the first time he's played the "I'm leaving" card.
Call his cards next time and
Call his cards next time and do not let him withdraw that hand. End it. Now. He has played the "I'm leaving" card. Write his idiot ass off and put him/them on the curb.
For your own sake, and for the good of your own daughter.
No one should tolerate this kind of shit in their lives. Make no mistake, all of them are shit.
It's also abusive. Any time
It's also abusive. Any time someone uses threats to convince you to do something or in this case let something go, it's considered emotional manipulation.
He's trying to be the victim
He's trying to be the victim with his "I'll leave" solution. That's such a pathetic, childish, lazy response to your attempt to discuss an obvious problem in your household.
I would absolutely take him up on that offer. Start sending him links to apartment rentals.
Let’s not forget his youngest kid
Oh, and his youngest (17) has missed over 40 days of school, is failing every subject and sits around playing video games all day. And now my husband has to go to court and blanes the school instead of his defiant, lazy spawn.
Good Lord.
Kick them all out. Yes. Your "husband" should leave with this 2pack of losers.
In your bio you said these
In your bio you said these "kids" are in your home 95% of the time. Your husband sucks. Both kids are probably too far gone to get their lives together unless maybe they join the military. They will need some external motivation and your DH and BM are just throwing their hands up.
If SSs are lazy and full of
If SSs are lazy and full of crap they won't join the military... SS19 had us bored and tired with a whole year of military talk. The day came to go to Georgia with a bonus signed and everything, and he crapped his pants... he got a fever and got super sick... never spoke about military again.
A forlorn hope is just a
A forlorn hope is just a naive parent avoiding dealing with a lost cause.
Those who join a forlorn hope are volunteers. Sadly, they also drag a mate , a marriage, entire families, careers, etc.... down with their naive rescue project failed family progeny.
So many SParents tie themselves to a forlorn hope and go down the drain with their new mate. The whole time trying to make connecitons with their new partners failed family baggage, etc, etc, etc...
It shatters my heart how many SParents who enter a relationship with love and good intentions end up miserable wasting far too much of their lives on a snowballing lost cause.
Ya know, you have enough on
Ya know, you have enough on your plate and your daughter is doing great, I would call his bluff. If you really are at a point that you don't care and feel that he is not being a partner, let him leave and focus on yourself and your daughter. Neither of you need to be in that kind of environment.
At 20 years old, the SS has no business just mooching off of you and not working or going to school. Tell your husband that his son is the one who needs to leave. If he doesn't agree, they can BOTH leave.
Stepson moved out
20 year old SS moved in with his GF and her parents 30 miles away today! He's their problem now! He can mooch off of them because he's still not working. I think they are desperate to get their daughter married off since she's almost 27, which is kind of disturbing since SS is 20 with the mentality of an 8 year old. He has severe ADHD and has never been on medication for it.
i know this arrangement won't last, but for now I'm celebrating. My husband, however, has been crying all day. It's pretty pathetic.
Crying because a 20 yo moved
Crying because a 20 yo moved out? What?!? Lock your doors! Batten down the hatches! Now that he's out, make sure he cannot get back in! Congrats.
Even when we dropped SS-31off
Even when we dropped SS-31off at MEPS to report to USAF Basic at 18yo his mom's tears were short. Parents who breakdown when their kids launch, are the problem. Their kids are just a symptom of the problem. Some sadness is normal, over reacting... nope.
To hammer home the point, have the locks re-keyed so daddy knows the spawn is gone. For good. Kids who have eternal access, don;t need it. Many kids who have it, shouldn't need it. Those who should't have it, shouldn't have it. Yet those are the ones whose failed parents get all crushed when their kid is too far away for the failed parent to keep sniffing the kid's waste of skin butt.
20 year old SS moved in with
20 year old SS moved in with his GF and her parents 30 miles away today!
Haha! I was going to suggest that he move in with his freeloader GF.
If they are desparate for their daughter to get married, I would think they would want her to marry someone with a JOB.
Short and Sweet
Yay! For now.
You still have a husband problem. Use this time to get your ducks in a row for when SS comes mooching back in there, or another threat "Ill just leave then", happens.
"Maybe I should just leave"????
What an incredibly immature, manipulative thing to say! And the silient treatment!!! Has he always been emotionally abusive to/with you? Yup, call his bluff. "Hey, remember when you said I'll just leave then? I think you should".
Clearly, these two spoiled brats are being by a child in a man's body. No wonder they are such losers.
There's been no boundaries in the house for these two kids. Call a family meeting and tell everyone (their father included) how things are going to change around there. If Daddy dear doesn't like it, he and his kids can go.