Divorce

Journey123's picture

I havent been on here in a few years. If I make mistakes please forgive me. My husband just served me with divorce paper,s.

I thought I would be all upset by it, but I'm not. I have been married now for 11 year,s ...When I met my husband he was very kind to me. As the year went on after our marriage it changed. I became more of a slave than a wife. His wife before me passed away in an auto accident. we were together a year after her death. I asked him if he was sure he was ready to be in a marriage he asured me he was.

After I had met his adult kids a few time,s he wanted me to go into his step daughter,s house while he was working and get to know them. They invited me in and the step daughter and her husband were standing by the fire place. I sat down on the couch.

They began to tell me I need to get a job making my own money and that I was reaping the rewards of her mothers death. My husband had me quit my job to help him with his company. I had a car payment he was making the payments on it. I ended up taking my car to ford and told them I could know longer afford it and gave them the keys. I told my husband what they had said and he said he would talk to them. Of course they denied all of it and that I took it wrong. I have 3 step kids who are adults and its been a living nite mare. My husband never once stood up for me against his adult kids. money was stole out of my purse and my jewelery and the daughter broke into the house and denied it even when I caught her. My daughter barrowed 2500.00 because she was getting her teeth fixed was going to pay him back when she got her taxes. and she did but gave him 2700.00 his kids owe money and never have to pay it back and we are not talking a few hundred dollars either. I have always had to kiss his kids butt . I'm not doing it anymore. My husband tell's me I'm not a good wife I beg to differ. I wait on this man hand and foot the only thing I dont do it wipe his butt. I do all the yard work , house work and errands and pay the bills this may not seem like alot but there is more to it. He gets up in the morning sits at the computer and tell its time for bed. he is a narcissist to say the least. He calls me names bad names my  self esteam is gone. so he served me with divorce papers and I said ok now he is changeing his mind he doesnt want a divorce ..I say to bad. I have put up with so many lies his kids have told and my husband not standing behind me . I needed to vent. I could sit here and tell you all what has been done to me being in this so called marrige with him and his entitled adult brats but what purpose would it serve.

Empress1277's picture

A wise woman once told me “Alone is better than crap”. I was going through a very intense divorce from my abusive ex husband. Abusive happens on many levels. Abusors rob your confidence, beat down your self reliance, make you dependent on them so that you doubt you are strong enough to walk away. It’s hard moving on, it’s hard to start over, but you will get through this. He has changed his mind? Sounds to me like a mind f$&k. Good for you for saying too bad. Abusors will do that as well, threaten to leave, threaten divorce to create a level of fear so that you do what they want you to do. Know that you are strong enough to walk away and start your life over. I hope you know that you deserve better than how you are being treated by both him and his children. 

ldvilen's picture

Yes!  If there is one piece of advice I'd love to give any woman, young or old, it is that you are better off alone than you are with the wrong person.  Beling alone does not = lonely.  You can be with someone, married to someone for years, and still feel lonely, if it is not the right person.  On the other hand, you can be alone, single, by yourself and still feel enriched and happy.

MrsStepMom's picture

Unfortunately you have allowed this from day 1. I worry your self esteem wasn't much to begin with. Your husband forced you to quit your job? No, no one can force you. Now is the time to put your foot down and remove these horrible people from your life. I would also recommend some therapy to work on your self esteem. Strong people do not let anyone TELL them what to do. You need and deserve to feel good about yourself and have the strength to not allow someone to dictate how you live your life.

hereiam's picture

Divorce this jerk and get your independence back....and don't ever give it up, again.

shamds's picture

play with and control peoples emotions. Serving the divorce papers was to shock you now he feels sorry and wants to be back together again except he likely never apologised to you or it was so half arsed it wasn’t an apology...

Rags's picture

Nail his ass to the wall, take every penny you can, and move on with your life.  You dont need this shallow and polluted gene pool in your life. 

Move on and enjoy your new life adventure.  

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Get a good attorney - now. Research the attorneys in your area and make appointments with the top three. Pick the one you like the best.

If he has already served you with papers and you didn't know it was coming - he already has plans in place. You need to protect yourself and be proactive.

How are you financially? Is there a chance he is going to start closing accounts or moving money? If so, move half of what you can to accounts at different banks than they are currently in. Get your own cell phone so he can't see who you are calling.

Rags's picture

Congratulations on starting your new life adventrue with this POS and his shallow and polluted gene pool fading into your past.

Enjoy!

And... do not speak with this idiot again. Ever. Period.

buratinos's picture

I want to say my opinion in a few words, if he or she is not your person, divorce and that is all. However, you should know that divorcing is not so easy as you think. I divorced a year ago and it is good that I came across to atlanta divorce mediation services because it saved a lot of money and time. If our divorce had been made by a court, it could cost much more and could take a lot of time. So, the mediator listened to all our demands and found a good compromise with which we agreed. I think that it is good that appeared this service. Their link is https://stearns-law.com/divorce/mediation/ .