You are here

Avoiding when they come to visit

Albj1215's picture

Submitted by Albj1215 on Tue, 09/30/2014 - 4:50pm

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

So I sent DH a text seeing how his day was. He replied and included that SD27 was coming by around 5 to visit. With a meeting after school, I would be getting home about 5 in time to change and go workout. I have made the choice to stay at school and get ahead on lesson plans and hope she is gone by about 6 so I can still fit in a workout this evening but avoid seeing her. Is this childish? I have taken the advise of several of you and tried to really just disengage. No social media sharing with her (is not "friends" on facebook,etc). I don't feel obligated to be home when she comes. I am just a little putoff that I didn't bring my workout clothes to school with me so I could go straight there....haha

joan mary's picture

Submitted by joan mary on Tue, 09/30/2014 - 4:56pm

No, not childish at all. You are avoiding seeing someone who only brings drama into your life. The only thing I might do different is to go home, get the work out clothes while she is sitting there, say "have a nice visit with your dad", and head out to the gym. That way she can see that you know she came by but you did not change your plans to entertain her.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 09/30/2014 - 7:47pm

Keep a bag in the car to go to the gym... that was what I did to avoid my SD when she was at her most miserable. Disengagement does work...

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 10/01/2014 - 4:08pm

I used to stay at work until all hours of the evening and even night when we were struggling with my SKids snarky teen years.

I am sure my dad did the same with my brother and I when we were going through that phase.

Not a recommended method for dealing with a snarky teen but it does work.

Unless of course your spouse is left to deal with the snarky kid at home alone. Then it is definitely not recommended.

Freshstart's picture

Submitted by Freshstart on Thu, 10/02/2014 - 5:58pm

Love the idea to have a spare gym bag in the car.

I so much want to escape when my SD19 is here for 5 days every 2 weeks but I can't because I have a six year old. If I were you I would run and enjoy being anywhere else if you can. Just ignore any ridiculous attempts at guilt tripping.

OutOfStep's picture

Submitted by OutOfStep on Fri, 10/03/2014 - 8:58pm

I get the same BS - 'You are the adult'! I'm sorry, but the SKids are well into their 30's and they are adults too.