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What would you do with BM's wedding dress?

kalinda's picture

My MIL & FIL cleaned out their storage building this past weekend and found BM's wedding dress. MIL told me it is mine to do with as I please, she made a few funny suggestions that involve sharp objects and fire. I am torn on this, on a personal note yes I would love to destroy it. But I have also thought about keeping it for SD's, even though they treat me like crap and they treat DH like crap, I wonder if keeping it for them would be the right thing to do?? Something in my head keeps telling me it is not mine and I should do the right thing.

So my question, what would you do?

twopines's picture

I would tell MIL it's not mine, so I can't imagine why she's trying to put it off on me.

christinen's picture

Yeah, I find that weird that they thought to give it to you in the first place. I would have been like wtf..

Dizzy's picture

This isn't your department. Have DH deal with it. He married, had children with, and divorced BM. Not your marriage, not your dress.

Jsmom's picture

I would give it to her if I saw her at the next exchange. No reason to be nasty. She may want it for her Bio's.

twoviewpoints's picture

Give it back to MIL and tell her that you don't appreciate being the one to decide what happens to a dress that is not yours and wasn't found in your home. No, it's not your decide to make and she should not have involved you over it.

If you're not comfortable returning it to MIL then have DH email Bm and simply say it was found in his parents storage. If she wants it back for the girls, fine. If not , fine too. If she wants it send home with the skid, if not, your free (and guilt free) to toss it.

Your post reads as you would not feel good about yourself just tossing or trashing the dress. MIL was wrong to dump this on you. Of course you are totally free to walk out to the trash can and pitch it, take scissors to it or have a bonfire ...but it doesn't sound like that's something you'd feel comfortable having done after the initial temporary enjoy of disposing of it faded.

ChiefGrownup's picture

A. or B.

A. It has nothing to do with me and I don't have time to deal with it.

B. Tell MIL BM's address so she can send it herself.

If I had a different SD than the one I do have, I might say "I'm handing the phone to SD. I think she's the one you want to talk to."

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

My husband had a box of BM's wedding stuff, pictures, year books, etc. and he actually threw it away. I was not happy about that, as I think he should have dropped it off at his former brother in laws house but he disagreed.

twoviewpoints's picture

I think the difference between what Op is asking and what is happening in your home is that BM lived in your house. She lived there, moved out and left her tings deliberately behind. Left behind, dismissed and never given a second thought. Her tings popping up all over your house is an intrusion in your daily life.

None of my business, but why didn't your DH toss that stuff before you moved in (or offer it to her as in 'get it or it's gone'). It would indeed the hell outta me to open a drawer and find BM's this or that. Open a closet and find another little unwanted surprise. Run something up to the attic only to stumble over a box of BM junk. And in your case especially as your M keeps trying to get in your front door. Argh. Enough of that woman already. It's totally understandable you'd dash to the trash.

If Dh thought he'd save those things for SS, he should have least went through the house and gathered it up, tossed the junk and saved what SS might someday want. Packed it tightly in a box placed far back in the attic to where one would have to go out of their way to find and been done with it.

Indigo's picture

Keep it for SD. MIL may have made those comments more because she wanted to connect with you than because she believed it. Not your dress. Has zero emotional baggage for you. But ... it might mean a lot to SD in the future. Yes, even if she is PIA now, that can change ....

Kat67's picture

I would mail it to BM or hand it over at next exchange. It's weird that mil would leave it up to you tho.

is it just me...'s picture

Burn it, throw it in the dumpster, who gives a sh!t? If it was important to her she would have kept it.

IslandGal's picture

Turn it into a parachute.

Cut it up and make 1,000 hankies out of it.

Donate it to charities

Make a quilt out of it and use it yourself

Turn it into a halloween outfit and give it to SD

Burn it.