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Trying led to a failure

young_stepmomma25's picture

So I went against myself today and let his daughter get to me. I just let her do something normally her father wouldn't do & I got shitted on to say the least. My last post I had told her she could spend a night out and to come home by 12 In the afternoon. Sounds a bit reasonable, right? So hours pass and around 2 in the afternoon she comes home. Her father asks her why she came in at that time if I told her 12 & she flat out lied and told her father I said something else. In which I didn't. She just lied like it was nothing & I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE! I said wow I told you come home at 12 and she shouts out "You're lying! I know what you said! You always lie and my dad always believe YOU" This itch was nuts! I just shook my head and told my husband, while you're away , I'm not to be minding your children or help you "parent them" since according to your daughter "I'm lying all the time" He didn't even respond back. So I'm asking, would I be wrong to leave just because of his daughter? I'm seriously contemplating it.

Disillusioned's picture

She sounds jealous, bitter, and is trying to set you up to look bad. Been there, done that, and seriously recommend you disengage

How old is your SD?

You have a choice to leave, or to remain and to distance yourself from her/disciplining her/making rules etc...

Let your DH be responsible for her

Your DH needs to address the lying on her part with her, and her disrespect for you

He also needs to try to get to the bottom of her jealously and anger. Perhaps she also just needs some reassurance from her Dad.

The step situation can make even the nicest people sometimes behave in ways that are anything but nice Sad

LikeMinded's picture

If you are thinking of leaving over this kid, then just do it. You've answered your own question.

You wouldn't live with a guy that makes you unhappy, so why live with a kid that makes you unhappy. Kids are just people, some make us happy and some don't . The ones we don't get along with, we never will, whether they are kids or adults.

You will never get along with this child, and she'll be there for a LONG time. Everyone waits until theiy're 18, and then they go nowhere (read all the posts). Bratty child, turns into obnoxious teen, turns into unseccessful adult who still treats you like crud and then manipulates your DH with grandkids. How long do you want to be in this tug o war.

I remember being single, you'll be fine, lol. It's fun.

If you have no kids of you're own with this man, then leave. I've been at this 5 years, and even though my SKIDS are nice, one is crazy, and I'm still as miserable as day one.

Rags's picture

For damned sure I would not allow the manipulations of a SKid to end my marriage. Only the behavior of my spouse could do that.

So, time to bring the pain and rain abject misery down on this lying POS Skid's head for her blatant lies and chosen toxic behaviors. Were I you I would make it my fondest hobby to have her snivvling with tears whining about how miserable she is for the next 6months or so. DH needs to be the lead in the abject misery campaign. If he refuses to step up then may be the time to let him know that his abdication of parental responsibility to teach his spawn that the choice to lie and manipulate has consequences may have consequences on him and the marriage.

Rather than leave I would step up and parent. You are your DH's equity life partner and that makes you an equity parent to any children in your home regardless of Skid biology. Time so shut down smart phones, PW protect your home internet router, remove doors from manipulative SKid bed rooms, ramp up the misery inducing chore list, etc, etc, etc..... If she is old enough to be out all night she is old enough for complete and total consequences for her chosen behaviors.

Bring the misery, I would.