School clothing/supplies
BM makes more than DH and I put together and doesn't work for a dime of it while we both work. She receives HUD, utility assistance, food stamps, and medical cards on top of child support from three different men. We usually get school cloths/supplies for skids even though she receives $200 in clothing vouchers per child (she has five-two are my husbands).
I'm refusing to buy them any cloths this year, partly because we are on a tight budget and partly because BM is pissing me off. The kids stayed with us for two weeks when school let out, went to BMs for a week, then off to out of state grandmas for what was supposed to be two weeks but has turned into a month. She's been kid free for a month. She could have been saving for school cloths. WORKING. Doing something. Instead she has been living it up, partying, whatever. I know this because she posts on Facebook constantly! The pictures disturb me...
Anyway the kids needs are being met. She just never quits. Always wanting more and more. DH is now considered a "deadbeat", which is what he usually is when she doesn't get her way. Arrrgghhh.
I dont blame you!!! I wouldnt
I dont blame you!!! I wouldnt pay a dime for those things either!!! My BF pays 230.00 per week for one kid...she has 5 kids from 4 different men!!! You and I BOTH know that money pays for her other kids and for the shit she wants to spend it on...NO KID costs 230.00 a fucking week to take care of and maintain!!!
Since I have been with my BF and "opened his eyes" to the BS that BM and skid pull life has been alot different!!! When she asks for him to help pay for SS10 to play hockey our reply is: I pay you 230.00 a week to help pay for that. If she says that she gave him 10.00 for a book fair at school and tells BF that his son will be asking him for more money we reply: I pay you 230.00 to help pay for that. In essence NO MATTER WHAT she says or wants or asks for...she DOESNT GET ONE FUCKING DIME more then the court ordered 230.00 per week!!!
Dont ever let bm or skids guilt you or threaten etc you & dh to pay more or give more money than is court ordered because unless it is in writing you dont have to pay or contribute jack shit more then what the court says to pay!!! PERIOD!!!
Our BM pulls this crap too.
Our BM pulls this crap too. SO used to give her 500.00 to take SD school clothes shopping before I came along. This was in addition to CS!!! Since we got together we buy SD clothes for our house and BM is responsible for buying clothes for her house. She flips her lid every year. If and I mean IF we do anything over and above CS it is paid directly to the school,club,etc. If SD needs something we buy the item we don't hand over one cent to BM because she will blow it on her and still leave SD without anything.
i agree with everyone here
i agree with everyone here don't spend the extra money. when BM called my DH for money he said to her and it was great " I tell you what BM why don't ya just go ahead and take it out of this weeks child support i will give you permission to do that this time, how will that work for you?" "or better yet BM we can go back to the courts and have CS looked at again its been long time since we updated any records" she got pissed it was priceless and she never asked us since we have BM where we want her she works and she never reported to the courts and neither did we we just said we will let it go and never pay any extra and hold this over her head... i love it
She has threatened to take
She has threatened to take him back to court for more CS. Haha I wish her luck because it hasn't been updated since they split, and while he does make more money we have had two children together that are not factored into that equation. If it does change it all it will probably be lowered.
I've thought about removing her from FB but I want the kids to think we're friends. Plus, I'll be honest, I like to know what she's up to. I am pleasant to her face and bite my tongue more often than not.
I've detached myself more and more over the years. I try not to get involved unless it effects me or my children directly.
BM hasn't asked us for
BM hasn't asked us for anything regarding school supplies, but I suspect it's coming. We won't be paying a dime for anything. I'm sure she'll be upset, but I couldn't actually care any less that I currently do about her feelings.
If it were a matter of the kids not getting what they need and not being cared for, DH would take her to court and request more custody.
This is a post which hits
This is a post which hits close to home.....my SO pays more CS to BM than is required considering the child only stays at her house once or twice a week, other times he is with FDH or BM Mother's house. Therefore, the CS is more than enough and probably covers her other child too. She doesnt work of course. However, she is constantly asking for extras...e.g. she will text and say can you get your sons hair cut today, or he needs 4 (yes 4!!!) new pairs of tracksuit ends. I really struggle to say anything because my BF really loves his son and would do anything for him. In fact he's one of those 'give your shirt off your back' kinda guys but it seriously pisses me off big time grrrrrrrrr Its made worse by the fact Im currently out of work so were living on his salary while Im studying. I dont know, I think its how it will always be but it makes me sick!
Ladies....some day the spawn
Ladies....some day the spawn will turn 18 and then he will never have give hog b!tch his $ again. There IS light at the end of the veeeerrrrrry long tunnel.
((((( hugs to all of you )))))