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Out to dinner disaster with skids

mrscmom2five's picture

My kids were gone last night so I decided to treat DH and skids to a night out. We stopped at Petsmart to get our dogs some treats and some new toys. They are going to kennel this weekend and then we went out to eat. We ordered, they colored. We promised if they were good they could order dessert, etc. So first offense, SS10 pulls out his ipod touch which he was told not to bring and keeps checking it every 5 minutes as if he is expecting a text/phone call. 1. it's not a cell phone, 2 i told him not to bring it, and 3 he was acting like our dinner conversation was going to interrupt some important message he was about to receive. So I told him to put it away (which he did and was fine rest of time) Appetizers arrive we share plates and SD6 (evil) begins having fits as we limit her appetizers and tell her to wait for her regular meal. She attempts to take silverware out, pushes silverware around table, ignores my requests to sit still, etc etc. DH and I talking about work day and he leans over and kisses me on forehead. SD flips out and starts yelling at us to stop we are gross. DH tells her to be quiet and that she needed to calm down. SD takes silverware, looks at me, unwraps the napkin and lets it fall on the floor.....this was a very deliberate and challenging mood. DH takes silverware, takes napkin, and we both tell her she isn't getting dessert and if she acts up again she will be taken to car/bathroom and spanked. SD puts on a great show of crying/but trying not to, usual feel bad for me routine which we ignore. Food arrives, she eats, picking at food. We all are talking about upcoming soccer sign ups and having a nice convo. Waitress comes by and asks for dessert orders, DH and I order and I let SS10 pick from the kids dessert menu. Don't offer SD any b/c that was her punishment for acting up. She loses it. Bawling, not fair etc. DH calms her down we get our dessert. She sits quietly but refuses to look at or acknowledge us or dessert. Here's the kicker, DH gets wrong dessert delivered to him. Waitress leaves to bring correct one and he offers to SD. I step in and say no, bc it totally defeats the purpose if he just gives in like that. 2 min go by. DH begins to question me. My son was grounded from fishing for hitting his sister (this happened in May). He has not gone fishing with me/us. I cannot control what goes on at his dad's or his grandparents' homes, but I have stuck with his punishment so far. Anyhow proceeds to bring this all up in front of SD and SS who don't listen to me to begin with and let me tell you I was PIST! It was all I could do to pay the bill and get into the car without flipping out on him. Of all things to do when I get left with doing all kid related things for both his and mine to belittle me like that in front of both of them when here I am treating them to a dinner. Is it wrong for me to still be upset about this? DH apologized this am and told me it wasn't the time or place, but in my opinion it isn't his place period. I am tired of him just giving in all the time b/c it is easy. So when I'm there I am the bad lady who makes everyone listen.

mrscmom2five's picture

I was very upset and had just dropped $73 taking his little demons out to dinner. He wasn't comparing my kids to his but he was implicating that I don't stick to my kids punishment and that i shouldn't have told him not to give her his dessert. One my kids are well behaved for the most part, but are good at dinners, events, vacations etc. His daughter steals and lies and she is 6. I am the consistent parent of the household and I catch her. He punishes when he sees it and immediately when it happens, but doesn't follow through. I told him fine u deal with her. I am moving my girls into their own bedroom and locking their door when they aren't there. It makes me hate his daughter and now he did this she knows that she doesn't have to listen! I am still fuming.

mrscmom2five's picture

I think that would be great way for him to handle it, but SD6 wouldn't get it. He tells her to listen, it sticks for 2 min and she disobeys on purpose. I'm pretty sure she is a sociopath. What did I get myself into?

mrscmom2five's picture

He rarely steps in. I wish he would more and told him as much this morning after he apologized. I can't do it all myself.

Orange County Ca's picture

In addition to what advise the others gave I hope she was taken outside when crying so as to not disturbe unnecessarily the other diners.

mrscmom2five's picture

she silently bawls. It is ridiculous to look at her face you would think she was in worst agony of her life. It is all fake and for attention.