My fiance is complaining about me to his ex-wife!

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My fiance frequently chats with his ex-wife on facebook, considering they have 2 kids this doesn't really bother me...in fact, I think it is very mature of the both of them, that they can hold civilized conversations. (especially because he stays logged into his facebook, so I can read the entire content of the conversation)

What does bother me....
We recently went on a family vacation (including my parents, my oldest sister & her 4 kids, another sis w/her husband & their 2 kids, me, my fiance, his 2 kids & my son). The first night we arrived at the beach, my fiance & his 2 immediately jump in, clothes & all. 1 of 2 kids came back around 9:30. Around 10:30pm, pitch dark, & no sign of my fiance or the other kid, I decide to walk down to the beach & check on them...that's it, just to check on them & make sure everyone is ok. I wasn't concerned for my fiance being an former Marine, but mainly for the 11yr old son that I'm partly responsible for.

What he wrote to his ex-wife (exact copy/paste)...
The first night, I stayed out until way, way late in the water. They finally sent someone to ask me to come back. if they hadn't (and that kinda irked me a bit) then I would have stayed out there all night.

I never once told him he had to come back...as I stated, I just walked down to make sure everything was ok. I guess it bothers me that I'm just someone that was sent, instead of being the loving fiance. Any time I try to talk to him about it, he blows up, misconstrues everything I say, he thinks the issues I have are petty and are "of a more mundane nature", so the issue is never resolved or settled.

This is not right - all he

This is not right - all he should be discussing is the kids not his feelings or emotions or anything that irks him - that would so irk me and I would want to kick his ass!!! And the whole smiley face would really have put me over the edge - they have no boundaries and I would try and put a stop to it!! Good Luck!!

The other day after a

The other day after a particularly galling episode with the BM, I insisted that my DH unfriend her on FB. He said he had only agreed to be her friend a couple of months earlier after her pestering him 3 or 4 times to be. I don't think he ever should have agreed, and I was angry. I don't have a FB account any more, because I think it is only ever used by people to spy on others and be competitive about friends. Both my BDs have also deactivated their accounts, and apparently so are 100,000 people per month in the UK alone.
Don't tolerate your fiance talking to his ex on FB about you. Tell him it's nice they can be civilised but it made you feel bad and say why.

It may well have been his

It may well have been his perception, based on what has happened historically, the 'being told what to do' thing doesn't sit well with a lot of people. Yes, I would have been angry, it's embarrassing too, especially talking that way to his ex and giving her a picture that is not accurate and possibly something she could use for her own purposes, possibly against you if she felt so inclined.
At some point in the future, when you have concerns about safety, let them know in advance that you might get anxious because you love them, and ask them to check in with you if they will be out later so you can go to bed, or do something other than just waiting for them. Some guys see this as women being insecure, though, and with such guys it's a diffiult distinction for them to make that you were concerned. He was probably lost in the moment with his son and did not even think about anything else at that point in time. Oh...for the male ego...there is no such thing as an ex marine and anyone who dares to doubt his ability....LOL shhhhhhhhhh
I am sure you will move on though, a wee dent in our pride will not kill any of us. Ohhh pride is NOT a sin in my opinion...LOL

I would immediately remove

I would immediately remove his title "fiancbe"

Hopefully you have not had a child or are expecting a child with this guy who is still hooked on his ex wife?

Don't make the mistake that I did. To this day no one can convince me that deep down, GG doesn't pine after the Behemoth and his however disfunctional "white picket fence" family life, where his MIL the wookie was still umbilically attached to his wife.

Yup, DH wouldn't dream of

Yup, DH wouldn't dream of doing that. I have enough problems with him repairing her car (their son damaged it in an accident and DH can do the repairs cheaper than the repair shop. She is paying for the par.ts).

Fiance status revoked until his gets his personal life sotrted. It doesn't matter if he thinks it is mundane. He isn't listening to you and your feelings and thoughts.

Prepare to retreat and live life without him. His previous marriage is still simmering away.

I would cancel the engagement

I would cancel the engagement as he is not a fiance to you but rather a very good friend to his ex wife and that is so wrong..just so wrong...

She is his ex for a reason..this nonsense of chatting on facebook should not exist..unless it's about his kids(and that should be done via email or phone call not facebook)... He is soooooo crossing a line..your private life with him is just that..Private and it's none of anyone elses business.

The man you are suppose to marry and spend the rest of your life with wont even give you the respect of listening to you... You have a big problem here...seems to me he cannot let go of his ex so if I were you I would let go of him.....

I think you are being very

I think you are being very understanding and mature about his communication with ex, in general. Can't blame you for not liking this latest bit, but just because you have the right to be irked by it, does not make it that horrible, in my opinion. If that is all that was said, it is irritating, but I don't think it's worth a big fight, let alone canceling the engagement over. If we all knew everything our partners ever said about us, we would not like it, and the same goes for the other way around, right? Now, if this is just one of many instances in which you feel ganged up on, or left out, then the sooner you address it, the better. One last bit of advice, for many men, it is more likely that they hear you, if you tell them what hurt you, without necessarily saying that what they did was wrong. That makes it less likely to make them defensive.

While I don't really see the

While I don't really see the quote you pasted as him complaining about you in particular, I do understand why you would have a problem with him sharing like this with his ex. I would have a HUGE problem with it myself and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't consider calling off the engagement. There seem to be some boundary issues that need to be resolved before you two can go on building a life together. This time, his comments were vague and generalized. Next time, will he complain to her about your cooking, or sex life? You are not wrong to be upset or fearful, but this situation cannot be ignored. He needs to understand why this hurts you and he needs to respect your feelings enough to cut emotional ties with this other woman. If he is not ready to do that, then I think we know what that means.