If you have shared custody, then I don't see how she can move the kids out of state without his permission. But that would be a question for your attorney and it doesn't sound like he gave you very positive feedback. Maybe get a second opinion?

You'll probably need to do a modification of custody/visitation, because there will be details to consider. Who will bear the travel costs associated with getting the kids for visitation? Will she have to pay it, will he have to pay it or will they share the cost? Are the kids old enough to fly alone? If not, how will they be ferried back and forth? Or will you guys just go to visit them? Depending on the finances, you can probably expect to get them for long breaks from school and a big chunk of their summer vacation. Also, consider whether or not he will continue having to pay CS for the summer months. If they are going to be in your household for more than half a month, maybe have child support dropped for those months. There's a lot to consider.

This happened to my husband twice. First, his wife left him in TN and took the kids to NC. He transferred to NC, but was still 5 hours away from the kids. It was okay for every other weekend visitation, it was just a really long drive. Then 1 1/2 years ago we moved from NC to CT, which is much further away, and we haven't seen the kids since. We tried to get them during the summer, but BM wouldn't answer the phone or return emails or voice mails until the kids were back in school and she knew the threat of losing them for summer visitation had passed. It's important, I think, to maintain regular contact via telephone, email, etc.

~ Anne ~

In my state, custodial parent can not relocate out of the city w/o judge's approval, and cannot relocate out of state with children. If non-custodial parent contests during out of state relocation, bm has one of two options, to not relocate, or to give up custody.

My recommendation is to seek a second opinion.

My dh wouldn't fight it, b/c our bm might move away for 3 months, and then move right back.

Also, bm is going to have to pay 50% of transportation costs to send kids back to your state for visitations, forfeit Christmas and Thanksgiving holidays every other year, and forfeit summer breaks. So once she experiences that, it might make her relocate back to your area.

I wish you the best,
Candice

When my EX and I split up, I left him & his Hitler type control over me. I moved in w/ my best friend (female), and was sleeping on her couch in a house she shared w/ 2 other people. I wanted to take my kids, but had no place for them to sleep, no money(EX would not let me work) , and he would fight me "tooth & nail" for the kids, etc. I did not want to rip them from their "nice & cozy" home, to go on the run w/ me. My ex had a new GF, 1 month after I left (he was never really faithful either), and wanted our divorce to be civil,or so he said, no lawyers, no courts, open visitation,see kids whenever I wanted..etc.So I started working, earning money, getting a life for myself, and saw my kids all the time.And I must say , they loved the change in me.They were 7 & 10 at the time so they were noticing that I was coming alive. As hard as all the ajustments were, my children & I were creating a happy,and more fufilling relationship, as I was not so depressed & angry under my EX'S control. This lasted for a while, my EX kept on a good mask for his GF.,but did NOT like the changes in me. Then I met someone , who is now my husband,and things got worse. To make a long story short, my EX made the decision that he can no longer live in this state(FL), his GF was gone, and he quickly replaced her w/ someone els, and is still not happy,and then he up & moved to TX, with the kids. Job relocation,he says. Lives in a huge house,claims to be making big $$$. I was stunned....picture this I'm 5 months preg. & he is sitting across the table from me telling me this,and then drops another bomb, "we need to be out their in 6 days" he says. WTF!!! So I panic, and get all stupid.He has about 25 friends who are all lawyers, and is now not afraid to use them.So I was also told that their would not be much I could do . He has custody, they live with him. I was desperate enough to get talked into this crazy situation,all for leaving him. So now my kids live out their, they were just here for christmas, and now I have to wait another 6 months to see them for summer.I am supposed to get them for a month, and I am going to drag his ass to court to make sure I do.No more trying to keep peace, and appease him for the sake of our kids. I now see this as another form of control. Sure I hear from my kids several times a week, phone, e-mail.But it's not enough. They miss me terribly,and miss their home state.And of course their old house.Something I did not want them to go through.I know they feel torn, they love their dad,and he does more for them than he ever has,but,he should nt have taken them away. Now I pay for half of their airfare, and he pays half & books the flights.He even tried to play games with that.I know I need to go to court, and get this all under a judges order.I'm tired of gettingkicked around by him because he's not truely happy in life. He acts all nice to me like I'm the greatest person in the world, but deep down he is upset that I am happly married, and doing relatively well, and did not fall on my face without him. Meshel

I don't know any women in my shoes....I did not lose my kids,we never even went to court through our divorce,just to get it finalized. I'm not a drug addict,or some loser who does not love her children,I was just wanting to get away from him,could not stand all the cheating,lying,and controling-crazy behavior.I left in Sep.,was divorced by Feb.,I know I was snowjobbed,(well, I know their are worse words for it) trying not to let emotions get better of me. I made poor decisions, and got easily intiminated.I did not want my kids to be put through the hell of a custody battle,saw my SS go thru that. And to be honest, I am always worried bout what my EX may do. I feel so bad about what has happend, and I know I need to stop worring about his actions, if I don't go along with what he wants.

not do anything if she wants to move out of state because you will jeopardize the good relationship you already have. It will make bm and the kids only resentful, so wish them all luck and work with the bm and kids to see what they want to do. Just encourage your husband that you can take a trip out there sometime and see where the kids go to school and live, and keep it positive by all means. You guys have a good relationship to begin with and thats rare!