Husband left
So, some of you have seen my posts the last few years about SD basically being DH's mini wife. Abot husband working as a cop, never being home, making me raise his kid for him so he can move up the political ladder in the sheriff dept.
He's also belittled me, and basically verbally abused me, since becoming a cop. Became controlling and guilt tripped me for every last thing I did.
Well a week before Christmas he announces he doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce. At first I was shattered. Now, I feel a burden lifted and I am getting giddy realizing my life is MINE now, and I don't have to live in fear of his insults. Don't have to sit and watch him spend more time with his daughter than his wife.
And I stuck up for myself. He said he wanted me to keep a relationship with SD....and in same conversation mentioned that with his job he would need help with her (watching her, picking her up from school, etc). I put my foot down. I said, "no. You don't drop the bomb on me that you want a divorce and then still ask favors. You can find someone to watch your kid. Not my job."
What an entitled s.o.b., is
What an entitled s.o.b., is he going to support you or pay you to take care of his dd. He stills thinks that after the divorce you will be sitting at home waiting to be at his bid and call. Your response was spot on, however based on his verbal abuse you will need to leave sooner than later as it will escalate because he expects you to do exactly what he wants irregardless of what he does to you. Pack your things and get out soon. That is what he wants, so why wait and let him continuously harass you and also to be a babysitter for his dd. Get your life going!!
Be prepared - he may very
Be prepared - he may very well back-peddle on his divorce request!
Once he starts realizing the ramifications (primarily about taking care of his own kid and related costs that may be involved) he may come back to you with his hat in his hand and say he has changed his mind and that he still "loves" you and wants to "work things out."
Don't buy it. Get out while you have a chance. That sense of giddyness you feel now about impending freedom is a huge clue that this relationship has been a prison. Get out while the door is open and control the keys to your OWN destiny.
The nerve of him, "I want a
The nerve of him, "I want a divorce, but I still expect you to do everything for me like we are still married. By the way, the dry cleaning needs picked up, my uniform is in there I need it for tomorrow, you need to be moved out by Friday at noon because I have a date that night, and my daughter wants her hair braided for the school play Saturday."
WTF
Uh, no... divorce? Get out as quick as you can and don't look back. It's true he may back pedal on the divorce thing when he sees you won't be there for him. He will give in and say, "oh we have to be legally married for me to keep treating you this way...well ok..you win...no divorce then...now get the dry cleaning qnd don't forget to braid SD's hair."
LOL
LOL
"when he crunched the numbers
"when he crunched the numbers and realized it was "cheaper to keep her" i was already 1 foot out the door."
Had to laugh, this is my story as well. SAHM of 4 small children, exH was military. I did EVERYTHING for him and the kids. He decided that he wanted to "explore" and it was time to divorce me. Just as our divorce (that he initiated) was about to be finalized he tried backing out, said he "didn't want to do this to the kids." By then I was done, it had been almost 12 years of physical and emotional abuse and I was just over it. The poor kids had witnessed enough violence in their young lives and I was the one who "didn't want to do this to the kids" anymore. We divorced and he quickly remarried a single SAHM so he could have a nanny while he worked. Their marriage lasted a few years and she got tired of being used and abused too.
Divorcing with a small herd of young children was hard but it was easier than staying in an abusive relationship.
I've seen some great cops,
I've seen some great cops, but in MY LOCAL AREAall the cops are kids that got picked on in school-were socially awkward, and they went into law enforcement to get back at the world. They treat everyone like crap and have a huge chip on their shoulder.
They pull people over and give tickets for doing 56 in a 55 and say, "It is the speed LIMIT. You need to make sure you are always driving under it."
For F*** sake your speedometer can easily be off by 3miles and you notEVER know!
LOL. I think that is true in
LOL. I think that is true in many countries. Not just the US. There is a disproportionate number of bullies in the police force.
Get a move on, call all the
Get a move on, call all the lawyers in your area that you can free consultation with, all personal info moved to a safe place, your parents, a friend, if you need to a new bank (along with a new account). Close all joint cards or accounts. Get a PO Box in another town.
Law enforcement with political leanings, you need to get a jump on him before he starts tearing you down. Good luck with everything!
He can let whoever he's "in
He can let whoever he's "in love" with to watch her. It's just like an A hole to want you to watch his kid while he's "working"