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CS conference tomorrow

EvilWickedSM's picture

So, I have my CS hearing tomorrow with exH. He’s bringing his attorney, but I am not bringing mine, which is no biggie. Here it is in a nutshell, using figures that aren’t accurate, but will show what I’m talking about.
For 8 years he had been paying $385 (which was mutually agreed to after using a calculator). He asked for it to be lowered back in September, so he started paying $325. In December he decided he couldn’t afford that and started writing checks for $110, regardless of the fact that I didn’t agree to the change. The CS calculator I used, which is the one the conference coordinator will use, based on what he tells me is his income, shows that he would be responsible for $475 (with his last known actual income it would be $525). So now he wants to make a deal with me for $215, directly deposited into my account as there has been an issue of wife sending checks late….she does all finance related things.

He says that he can’t afford anything, and that he will probably lose his house if he pays even as much CS as we had agreed to previously. He makes more $ than DH, and his wife makes the same hourly as me, but works part-time (if what he tells me is correct re: income). The amount his wife gets in CS offsets what he pays out in CS, just like, if DH and I had joint finances, his CS payment would be offset by my CS rec'd. So basically they are like every other working couple with two incomes and bills. DH manages his bills taking CS he pays into consideration! This all boils down to poor financial planning on his part. I'm sorry, but that's not DD's problem.

I am so tired of exH kissing up to me when he wants something and then talking to me like I’m a POS when I don’t do exactly what he wants. I guess he’s like a lot of the BMs that people here deal with in that respect!

sbm014's picture

Good for you! I hope it all works out and he learns he should have just kept to the original agreement. I watched my mother tell my dad he didn't have to go through the AG's office which was a huge mistake, and make so many agreement outside of court she got screwed. Heck my mom even signed off saying he didn't have to pay because she was to nice. I think at times she wishes she could have put my dad in his place especially considering he still owes me personally 5K in me trying to help him out during rough time. I am so happy to see you stand up to get the CS you deserve and not walk over you.

EvilWickedSM's picture

I know what you're saying. I often wish I would have done this years ago, because obviously my willingness to work with him hasn't made a difference in how he behaves regarding CS.

Calypso1977's picture

how old are his wife's kids? old enough that she could work FT? that would solve his cash flow problem.

good luck tomorrow!

EvilWickedSM's picture

Yes, his wife is in mid 30 range and her kids are both in school all day. Definitely can work full-time.

Tuff Noogies's picture

you make a good point. i dont think Evil mentioned it in a way of going after her income, just mentioning that her ex bitches about not having any $$ and losing his house, when he has a wife that can work full time but doesnt. it's really irrelevant to the amount of support he's required to give his child. kind of along the lines of an ex wanting child support reduced cuz his new wife got pregnant. just information in passing, for us to get a better picture of what his gripe is about in asking for reduced support payments.

QueenBeau's picture

In my state it does get reduced if new wife gets pregnant. you get a credit on the CS calc worksheet for any other children that you have & either pay CS for or have custody of. So when DH & I havve a child we will get this credit, one credit for each child. & BM gets this credit for her other child with another man.

EvilWickedSM's picture

Valid point, but, I didn't mean that her income should be taken into consideration, only trying to point out that they are "no worse off" than any other family with two incomes. I made note of the wife's work status only because that might have something to do with them being financially worse off than they were. She used to work full-time, quit her job without having another one lined up, and now has only been able to find part-time work. So, the financial woes are a result of poor decision making on both of their parts.

Orange County Ca's picture

Better that he pay than you make up the difference so he can make payments on a house when he can live in a smaller one or worse yet you end up collecting welfare which I have to pay for as a taxpayer.

Life is tough and whoever said it was fair was lying I don't care if it was his mother.

EvilWickedSM's picture

I think that we will always be the evil bitch....regardless of what we do. Good for you though for putting those kids first.

These are his wife's kids. They don't have any together. I do know the oldest, she gets absolutely no help with because his father is a loser deadbeat. He's turning out to be a good kid and hopefully doesn't take after his father's side of the gene pool. I think my exH has been a good influence on him. The youngest she gets CS for and the father is involved.

Holy cow....$1200 a month daycare! :jawdrop: That's all I can say about that....wow.

How crappy of your BM that DH had to pay all of those extras too, PLUS reimburse the kids for gas?!?!? It's BM's like that that give us all a bad name....ugh.

simifan's picture

If he can afford to bring an attorney & wifey doesn't work full time - he can't be too strapped for cash. Let the state work it out DD is entitled to what ever the calculator says she is.