Can't bring myself to like SD
I know, I know, I'm a horrible, evil stepmonster! I have tried but I just can't bring myself to love - or even like - my SD6. We have absolutely nothing in common so there is nothing for us to bond over. Example- I love cooking but she is the most picky eater I have ever been around. I like going to do "girly" things like to the salon but she is a tomboy. She is rude, has no manners, and interrupts people when they are talking.
Every time she needs to say "thank you", she has to be "reminded" or she will not say it. Then on top of that, she's the spawn of a woman who I absolutely despise. I have been in her life since she was just 1 year old and we have her full time but I still feel nothing towards her.
DH wants us to be "one big happy family" but it just isn't happening. I don't like having SD around. Is that really so terrible? How do other people bond with skids?
No, no. I'm the evil
No, no. I'm the evil stepmother! My SS12 is a pest. He's out of control behavior-wise a lot of the time, and it's understandable, I suppose, given what he and his sister had to deal with when they were leaving with BM. But all that aside, there's just something that rubs me the wrong way about him. He's annoying and a huge tattle tale. But I still feel rotten for feeling this way about him.
Thanks so much, everyone! I
Thanks so much, everyone! I feel better now lol. We wound up with full custody last year when SD started kindergarten. BM lives 2 hours from us (she moved). BM never takes her and we get no CS. I have a lot of resentment about this because I've been fighting with DH about taking BM to court for CS but he refuses (long story but he's afraid he will lose SD). I guess all that resentment probably contributes to my feelings toward SD.
You don't have to love or
You don't have to love or even like your skid. You do need to be civil. That's it.
DH does nothing about
DH does nothing about anything. If I correct SD, he defends her (right in front of her too). All this led to me disengaging. I just feel kind of guilty because we do have SD full time but at the same time I can't change the way I feel.
Thank you ALL so much for the replies! Nice to know I am not alone in this!
Don't force it. You will only
Don't force it. You will only torture yourself. I made this mistake and it made me resent the skids even more. Even worse, I hated myself for not loving them unconditionally. Kids have bio-parents for that. It sounds like both you and DH would benefit from not "should-ing" all over you. Give yourself a break.