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Are we REQUIRED to keep her for visitation?

katielee's picture

My husband has to work this weekend and every weekend for the next few months because of a project they are working on. Which leaves me having to keep SD11 on those weekends while he is working. I don't enjoy this at all. Plus I am on call this weekend and will probably have to work at least part of the time. I could possibly get out of it, but I'd lose quite a bit of money. We could hire a babysitter but we really don't know anybody.

So my question is this. Is visitation a RIGHT or is it required by law?

PeanutandSons's picture

No, you are not required to get her. Visitation is a right but he does not have to excrrsize this right if he doesn't want want o or is unable.

nothinforya's picture

No. It is not. It is a right that may be exercised by the non-custodial parent, or not, but it is optional. The custodial parent may not WITHHOLD visitation, but the NCP does not have to exercise the right. One would think that if the father has to work, he can't be with the child anyway, and you are not the babysitter.

step off already's picture

No. The NCP does not have to exercise their visitation, however, if they do this too often it will set a pattern and if the custodial parent wants to, they can then take the NCP back to court and request to reduce / ammend the parenting time/schedule. This could also result in a change in child support.

Just something to be aware of.

But visitation really is for the parent (not the step) so Dad may welcome a different parenting schedule so that he can spend time with skid.

EvilWickedSM's picture

I would try to get skid when visitation is granted, just so that BM can't use that as ammunition against you in the future. I also would tell DH that he needs to find a babysitter for his kid as you are unable to watch her. I would rather know there is someone watching her in the case you get called into work, so that you don't have to scramble to figure out what to do with skid.

SMof2Girls's picture

Same here. I wouldn't want to give our BM that kind of leverage. But I also enjoy my skids, so keeping them when DH isn't home isn't such a big deal to me either.

katielee's picture

I think I'm going to talk to him about trading weekends for next weekend since it is Father's Day anyway and I am going to get stuck with her for sure.

Rags's picture

No, you are not required to actually take visitation as the NCP household.

That is one of the beauties of being the NCP. You have CO'd visitation that the CP must honor and if you have a conflict on those days you do not have to take the kid or make up any lost time.

In our CO (my wife is the CP) it was also clarified that any refused of missed visitation could not be made up at a later date without the express agreement of the CP. Even though it was clearly stated from day one of the CO the SpermClan would regularly attempt to get voluntarily declined visitation added to a later visitation. My DW never approved it since minimizing the exposure to the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool was in the Skid's best interests.

I know of no state that requires the NCP to actually take visitation.

Just say no, go to work and don't worry about it. If this is a rare thing there is not much downside since it takes a major change in circumstance for the CP to successfully have CS modified if it has been less than 2yrs since the last CS ammendment (in most states). If your DH does not make it a habbit and the circumstance for missing the visitation is reasonable (work is reasonable IMHO) then if the CP goes ballistic over a single incident then the CP's behavior will just provide your DH with good amunition for barring BM's idiot ass in court if she pushes it.

If you are worried about it do some research in to your CO, local supplemental rules and state rules or call an attorney and ask.

IMHO of course.