So I am not sure what to do about this situation. BM and my BF have a pretty set schedule, EOWE and Wednesdays. There is the occasional changing things up if schedules need, but mostly its stuck to. Now, when she changes things for some reason she never sticks to it. If she says can she pick them up later, she will text and say its going to be 2 hrs after she originally said. Things like that. It irritates me. I feel like SHE has control over my schedule. I get annoyed and voice my opinion to BF, and he does understand and is as frusterated as I am, but says he cant control her actions. I say that, I understand that, but he can control his actions. So when she asks to change scheduled because she needs to do XY and Z, than you can say NO, you do not hold up to your end of the obligation and therefore I am not going to change the current schedule. The problem is, he has done that on very small occassions, and she basically give him the guilt trip of, they are HIS kids, and he doesnt see them, and she has them all the time so why cant he just take them, etc.
She is doing this again with this weekends schedule. and I flat out told him, that WE/HE are NOT her babysitter. When she has the girls, and her schedule is too tough to accomodate when she makes her plans, she needs to figure it out. Why should she contantly lean on him/US to rescue her. I mean if you cant handle having the girls on a more full time basis and your schedule, than that needs to be discussed. Well again, when that is said, she pulls the guilt trip. Part of the issue too is that SHE DOESNT WORK. Not saying she has nothing to do, but COME ON. What in the bloody hell is more important that you cant rearrange a schedule when it has nothing to do with work???
So on top of that, she had mentioned a few weeks back that she may be moving 3 hours away.
Well when BF and I discussed this, he had told me that BM and him would be discussing custody details before anything is set in stone.
So last night when she was trying to change the weekend schedule, and he basically told her no, she says, well you need to figure out when you want to see your girls then, because we are moving to PODUNK on July 22. Now, we knew it was a poddibility, but she never said it was for sure.
My issue with it, is we have discussed the possibility if she goes seeing the girls less, or letting her go, and having the girls more.
But now I am feeling like everything is not even up to me. Its up to the two of them, and I have no say in anything. It makes me mad. I try hard to be as tolerant and as understanding as I can. But I feel like my thoughts, feelings are put in 4th place. My BF isnt a jerk about it, hes very nice about it, and tries to please everyone so to speak, but just hearing him talk it out, out loud,I can tell by the words he uses, that he has already made up his mind to want the girls all the time. My issue with that is I DO NOT want the girls full time. I have always said that if they arent being taken care of properly or are in danger, etc., Than ABSOLUTELY they come to live with us, but otherwise, I dont see the necessity in it. He says he really doesnt want them full time, but has to look ou for their best interest and hes not sure if them being 3hrs away is a good thing when BM doesnt have a job. I say thats her problem, not ours. She gets 400.00 more a month in CS than the state requires because he wants to make sure they are provided for in the same way they were used to. I just feel like my life is being controled and figured out for me and I dont like it. I dont feel like this is what I signed up for.