First off let me apologise in advance for the long post, found this page 2 days ago and its the first time theres been anywhere or anyine to talk to about anything sp trying to get it out as best i can. 

Me and the OH have been together just over 3 years. He has 2 daughters from a previous relationship that was fine, they were 2 and 4 when we got together. Their mother is a complete nightmare and the now 7 year old is going the same way. She kicked off when she found out we were together even though she was seeing the man she had broken up her family for. We agreed i wouldnt meet the kids til further down the line, in fairness i wasnt ready to hop right in and suddenly become a parent overnight especially given the situation between their own parents it wasnt my place so that was fine until she pushed for it and then demanded the man she was seeing gets to meet them because she allowed me to. Found out i was pregnant and that caused another kick off, found out it was a boy and all hell broke loose. They lost a boy at 31 weeks before the girls came along so she was understandably upset but the arguments were downright nasty and completely unnecessary she even threatened to stop him seeing his girls over it and told him court would be needed. We have had them every single weekend from Friday to Monday for the whole 3 years with changes during holidays and half terms and everything is on her terms. She agreed to collect her daughters the weekend i was booked in for induction until the day came and she flat out refused stating it was his time with them end of. The following weekend we should have had free since it was a 2 week holiday but of course after 3 days in hospital, a traumatic birth and an infection they landed back to meet their brother. I agreed to a few hours in the evening until they landed and i was told they were staying overnight because their nanny was over from ireland, she agreed to take them across the road with her for the night. Caused a huge argument in the process between all family on both sides over her precious grandaughters and not being riund annewborn screaming like banshees and then of course their mother started in with the whole they want to spend the weekend with their brother and ill have to cancel my plans now it isnt fair, given she was askednto bring them round for a few hours on friday afternoon and they were at the door half an hour later. Shes kicked off repeatedly over the last 2 years over the smallest shit that doesnt make sense, cut him out of schooling and plays and assemblies, filled her eldest daughters head full of the child she lost and how she cant breathe without her and shes her best friend and her daddy broke up her family everything is his fault to the point theyre not even allowed their birthday balloons without sending them to their brother in the sky come the evening time. Its absolutely disgraceful that they were even told about anything until they were old enough to comprehend anything but then to be made feel guilty over the fact theyre alive and hes not and their mother putting all her emotional baggage on a child is unreal. We tpom them back to Ireland for chridtmas and when they landed back in January their mother cut contact straight away until they managed to get sorted through mediation in early March, it wouldnt have taken as lomg if he had have given into her demands straight away like he usually does and when they came back here theyre completely different children. The 7 yearnold has always had behavioural problems, shes beyond smart and she knows it but everything is a acreaming match and whininng and daddy daddy daddy, she cant see her sister win at anything without kicking off and throwing a tantrum, shea spoilt and selfish and always has been becauae nobody addresses the issue they just pander to her and let her away with it but we were actually getting somewhere with her and ahe was improving until she spends any extended period of time with her mother. The 5 year old couldnt string a sentence together until she was 4 and would act out when nobody listened to her or she thought she wasnt being understood but thats corrected now, trying to keep her going the right way is hard when shes watching her sister get away with thinga she doesnt get away with and then theres my 2 year old that imitates everything she does when shes here and ive had enough, he can be aaked to tidy away his toys and he will usually do it while singing until she lands and then its right back to the start again because she doesnt have to clean behind herself all she has to do is start screaming like a banshee and daddy to the rescue again.  Throughout all of this i have done nothing but try and be supportive, give them a place to vent if needed, tried my best to explain that none of anything if their fault and they shouldnt be carrying it like they have a reason to feel guilty. Ive dressed them and made sure they always had shoes, washed them, their father hasnt done it in 3 years, fed them, got them both glasses, dentists regularly theyd never seen one before and any time they needed a doctor i was the one to book it and bring them. Potty trained both of them day and night they were still in nappies when i met their father and got them off a bottle that they both carried everywhere and chocolate milk at bedtime and throughout the night if they woke. Shes never done the lice treatment and sends them down here telling him it needs to he done, shes sent them down round my then infant with slapcheek, chicken pox, scarlet fever and doesnt see a problem with it and for years he constantly bowed down to her regardless of the situation, refused to say anything to her when she was slagging me off the whoever she could including him and refused to say anything to her when she was sending them down in clothes that were too small and cutting into them even though she has always been provided with clothes and shoes to fit them, he also pays the full uniforms every year and throughout the year and hands her 50 a week to feed them for the max 4 days she has them for breakfast and dinner . Im now 27 weeks pregnant with number 2 and hes still refusing to correct behaviour, still allowing them to get away with everything and im on my last nerve woth the whole lot, im honestly considering taking my kids and disappearing so i dont have to deal with them anymore and my sons wont be left feeling like they dont matter because the girls come first. We have had countless arguments over it all and still nothing changes. I dread them landing and count down the hours til they leave again and to be honest i wouldnt mind having the 5 year old on her own i just cannot stand the 7 year old anymore and i feel guilty saying it but since she came back from her mothers ive got nothing but dirty looks and snide nasty comments like i wish my daddy never met you out of the blue. She started the other night at bedtime and i snapped and told her if she didnt like it here she could go back to her mothers that was fine. Losing the will to keep going at this stage. 

Thanks for reading the mess.