My fiancé and her children have been living with me for about a year and a half now. Her children were living with their father before and it was decided that if we were going to move in together she wanted her children to come stay with us. This was okay with me I had spent plenty of time with them and we all got a long great. It wasn't until we moved in together that issues started coming up. They would lie, not do homework, not do chores, and steal. The SD would put hands on her mother almost every month it seems about the simplest things. I come to find out that when they were with their father they could do whatever they wanted as long as they would not bother him. My Fiancé apparently new about the lack of discipline and was hoping that we would be able to get them back on track.

Their behavior does not seem to be getting any better and my Fiancé has seemed to stop disciplining them altogether unless I am around then she pretends to do so. I did confront her about it but she states restricting them does nothing and keeping on them has become a full time task that is making her miserable. I try to discipline them but since their mother is the one who stays home and does not enforce it when I am at work they feel no need to listen to me.

She has brought up about them going back with their father and I am not sure how to advise. Deep down I want them to move back in with their dad but I know she will feel guilty if she does. I don't want her to blame me for not encouraging her to keep them with us but we are both miserable