Ungrateful Step Kids....
I have 5 grown step children. The youngest, who is a 23 year old girl, is extremely spoiled. Over the past 5 years that my husband and I have been together she has probably cost us a total of $40,000.00 We are not any where close to being well off, we too live pay cheque to pay cheque and we have a mortgage payment like everyone else. She never pays back when he lends her money either. Last Christmas she borrowed $500 from us, and then early into February she needed to get her car fixed and had her dad drive her to get it, and conveniently forgot her credit card, which made him pay. So the debt was now up to $700.00 in which she never paid us back. We were told the other day, we will get paid back when she wins the lottery! :jawdrop: OMG!!! So he told her, when her car breaks down (2000 Honda) do not call him!!! Well, here we are 6 months later, and the car is broken down. First call to Daddy. Daddy goes running, towes it to his shop, and pays for the part and fixes it.... can you say OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF !!! GRRRRRRRRRRR
Then we have the middle child. Twenty seven years old, married, 2 kids. Moves out from Ontario, which we paid for, because he couldn't get a job out there. Lives in his dad's house (I had one too) and lives for 1 year rent free, then my husband like a moron lends him $45,000.00 to pay off his bills. That was 2 years ago. We have never seen one payment. He owes us $63,000.00 and never ever says he will pay us back. Again... WTF ???? I don't get it !!
Then we have the 33 year old (who is a twin) and he is constantly borrowing money. He lived in "the house" before his brother moved out and moved in, and his girlfriend and him did $7000 damage and never paid for a thing. Now he owes us that, which he says it wasn't his fault.... well, who's fault was it? Your dogs urinated all over the house and ruined the floors, you used the dishwasher like a garborator, and if you don't clean the oven, it will never get clean (which was a self cleaner). We had to replace, flooring, oven and dishwasher. We had to get a cleaning lady in, as the bathroom downstairs had never been cleaned in a year. Hello... Esso !! OMG... so again, more money owed.
The other two kids, don't cause any grief...but these three, it's never ending. I am lost on to what to do. I love my husband, but he really doesn't get it. When I complain and we argue about it, I just shut down. I have no idea how to handle this? Help !!
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Comments
Your DH is the only one who
Your DH is the only one who can "help" you by saying no. By holding these ADULTS accountable. But I suspect that he has been enabling them all their lives, which is why they are entitled, rotten adults now. The only one that can destroy the monster is the one who created it... but I have a feeling you're SOL there.
Separate your finances. Tell
Separate your finances. Tell your DH that if he's not going to protect you financially, then you'll do it yourself. One account for "household" bills, and he is expected to contribute $X to that per month. Retirement funds cannot be touched and you both contribute $X per month to it. If he has anything left, he can use it to finance his kids or whatever he likes.
^Agreed on both counts^ This
^Agreed on both counts^
This is crazy! You need to separate your finances YESTERDAY.
But make sure you do their
But make sure you do their laundry as that is a cruelty if you don't (tee hee).
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
What does DH say about this?
What does DH say about this? I couldn't have coped with this. Tell him absolutely no more assistance. Can you start an account to save/recuperate your losses if he refuses?
How does your husband have
How does your husband have this kind of money hanging around living paycheck to paycheck? $45,000 to pay of bills??? If be livid!
IMO it does seem that you
IMO it does seem that you have ungrateful skids but it seems more like your DH is robbing you to keep a relationship with his kids. It also sounds like you continue to allow it to happen by not learning from past experience.