I'm BAAAAACKKKKKK LOL with updates!
Hey everyone!
Hope you had a great Easter and a great week. My daughter is safely back in Michigan and I didn't even cry this time seeing her off. I guess things have a way of getting better over time.
Anyhow, no stepdevil at either the niece's birthday or Easter but we later found out that DH's dad picked her up for a few hours prior to the birthday party because she didn't want to be there knowing WE would be there. Yeah, good way of sneaking around behind DH's back, FIL. That's the first time that's happened when he didn't tell DH what his plans were.
DH met with BM and her lawyer on Thursday. Basically, a lot of stepdevil's lies were brought to attention. She claims DH and I teased her about her weight and her inability to spell so she's now bulimic (HA, whatever). Funny thing was we found out that grandaddy was the one teasing her about her spelling but HE was never brought up...I was pinpointed as a reason she didn't want to come over, but the lawyer sided with DH when he brought up the fact that if stepdevil had such an issue with me, why did she confide deep, dark secrets to me that she couldn't tell even her parents about?
Bottom line is they wanted to do this tier thing where stepdevil slowly starts coming over again to rebuild a relationship with DH. Since she has expressed the fact that she doesn't WANT to, DH doesn't want to force it - we've left things as is for the time being where she just stays with BM full time. So, of course his child support more than DOUBLED, but we expected that. The lawyer said BM was going to fight in court if we wanted any overnights we had to have a separate bedroom for stepdevil, even if she was only spending one or two nights a month here. DH argued that it would cost a minimum of $200 extra for a 2nd bedroom that is barely used, which financially makes no sense. So, I'm hoping that even paying the extra in CS, stepdevil NEVER comes over again.
He even stopped by the attorney's office alone on Friday to chat and let him know what his decision was. The attorney was shocked by the fact that he just happened to swing by and said he really does know that DH has his kid's best interest at heart. He also happened to tell DH that he knew BM was in it only for the money and that she knew for a fact we weren't going to move into a bigger place so that's why she put that stipulation of having another bedroom or no overnights (so she could collect max cs, for having her more than 100 overnights a year).
Either way, I'm sad my daughter is gone, but happy to never have to deal with stepdevil again. My DD is going to finish out the school year in MI and see how things go before she gets here for summer, but to me, it's looking like she wants to give her dad and his gf another chance. We'll see how that plays out.
Glad to be back and I'll try and catch up in between doing the same here at work! We're expecting a huge blizzard (up to 2' of snow) starting tonight, so I'm definitely NOT looking forward to that!
Hope all of you are well!
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Comments
Thanks! I'm glad to be back!
Thanks! I'm glad to be back! I missed all you guys here!
Glad u had a wonderful visit
Glad u had a wonderful visit with your daughter and also am glad for ya how things are panning out w/ your SD
Thanks. DD15 will be back in
Thanks. DD15 will be back in a couple of months for summer visitation. And SD? Well, I don't give a rat's ass! LOL
Good to see you back red!
Good to see you back red!
Thanks! What did I miss?
Thanks! What did I miss? Where's Lynn123? Did something go on while I was gone?
Thanks guys - I would really
Thanks guys - I would really miss her if she decided to jet...
She's still here....you'll
She's still here....you'll recongnize her new name when you see it.
LOL thanks guys!
LOL thanks guys!
"Anyhow, no stepdevil at
"Anyhow, no stepdevil at either the niece's birthday or Easter but we later found out that DH's dad picked her up for a few hours prior to the birthday party because she didn't want to be there knowing WE would be there. Yeah, good way of sneaking around behind DH's back, FIL. That's the first time that's happened when he didn't tell DH what his plans were."
That wasn't the best thing to do, but I don't think there's much dh can do about it. Despite all the issues you're having with sd, she's his granddaughter. Dh is not required to discuss his plans with fil and vice versa. They're both adults who can do as they please.
I know sd has blame in this but so does bm, and so does dh. They really grew this monster by letting her call the shots for so long. It is unrealistic to expect that 12 years of poor parenting can be fixed in 2. And I'm not saying any of this to be mean, but rather because its the truth.
Oh I agree. DH has told his
Oh I agree. DH has told his dad and family (BIL, SIL, grandparents) that they're free to have a relationship with SD all they want and just because things are difficult between him and SD, it doesn't affect them.
I think what bothered him most is the fact that his dad snuck around and did it behind his back. He's never had an issue with telling DH that he planned to pick SD up and spend time with her, or whatever, but for some reason just didn't tell him this time. Not sure why and DH just let it go, but it did bother him that he felt his dad had to sneak around to spend time with her.
BM told SD to be sure she remains in good with DH's dad and his grandparents because they're getting old and have a lot of money and she wants to stay in their will. Sad, isn't it?
I hear ya Coconut! Can't
I hear ya Coconut! Can't ever feel comfortable or let your guard down around them because they're so manipulative! All sweet at first and the next minute, knife in your back. I don't trust SD14 as far as I can pick her up and throw her (which after her weight gain, would not be far). She lies and lies and then believes her own lies. It's sickening.
Anyhow, I'm glad to hear you moved! Your home sounds lovely!!!! Keep SD at a distance. Visits, yes, but nothing more. Don't let her get too comfortable and want to move in!!