Surrogate Skids
As you may know, all 3 of my horrific skids are now adults in their twenties and have been officially PASed out for 15 years now (16 if you count the older two).
But Chef has former co-workers, one in particular, who is about the age, possibly older than Pumpkinhead (OSS stb 28). He always adds a "Y" to the end of his surrogate skids names (ex. Dave becomes "Davey", etc)
Well "Davey" who is married to a BM with her kids and an ours kid, is always crying "poor mouth" which i don't care for-- And I've told Chef so. To me a sign of ill breeding.
"Davey" has borrowed money from us in the past and Chef (read: me) has paid for his vehicle repairs as well as let "Davey" scrap for cash any scrap metal/ appliances/old heating equipment Chef replaces for his customers as "payment" for the haul aways. Somehow Chef is always over generous with others... in this case his surrogate kiddult and he always seems to get taken advantage of.
Now this surrogate skiddult had borrowed money from us before and I insisted on a full written agreement which Chef thought I was being a hard ass on. He did pay it back but I believe only BECAUSE I had the written agreement.
He calls Chef quite frequently asking for work advice and I kid you not, ROMANTIC ADVISE, which of course Chef advises never to "spoil" a woman, don't buy her candy/flowers, etc. This was Vday 2023 btw that he gave this advise to "Davey" as Davey called up Chef frustrated that his wife was expecting a certain type of confection.
So now Chef has let me know that Davey wants to borrow about 2 grand for a hauiling/dumping trailer. Davey just revealed that the company he works for (Chef used to work for and quit several times bc he knew he could rely on MY wages) is having a slow down as the economy grinds to a halt.
Chef advised Davey to tell the new owners of the company at the next meeting that they suck!!! I doubt Davey will do this as he is quite the timid sort and at least he doesn't take his wife's wages for granted. But I told Chef after he got off the phone that saying that would be a good way to get fired and then how would he pay us back?
Chef: (insert bravado) "Davey could go anywhere and get a job...I don't know why he doesn't quit that company anyway!"
Me (rolling eyes) "You DO know that the employees market is rapidly drying up now, don't you?"
*crickets*
So see folks, you don't even have to have skids coming around to "enjoy" the skid dynamic.
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Just say NO
No is a complete sentence
Chef gonna Chef! I guess he
Chef gonna Chef! I guess he has to bleed money somewhere.
You deserve better.
I'm hoping if you hear it enough....you will believe it.
I am beyond incensed with this dumbass you make your life with.
As for Davey and his poor mouth bride... ill breeding without a doubt.
What can you do to end Chef floating money to Davey the Dipshit? I would start pressing theft charges against Davey and see how Chef likes seeing his current rescue project pet dealing with that.
I get the rescue complex. I have one. Though over the decades I have learned to subvert those tender hearted tendencies.
When I started my company I employed a number of people. Several of them belonged to a single family. They would regularly push for early payment on part of their wages in cash and they would pay it back on payday. I kept their checks locked up until they came to me personally. At which point I would make them sign the check, then I would pay them the difference between the check amount and their advance.
Not a big deal... until....... I started noticing a large Red duffle bag by the back door of the flagship restaurant where our corporate offices were. As I came down the stairs one evening from the office I purposely tapped the bag with my toe. Thunk. I had the owner of the bag open it, inside was at least 70Lbs of frozen ground meat, pounds of vegetables, etc... I employed mom, dad, and 3 of their sons. Apparently I had also been feeding their entire family (they had another half dozen younger kids at home). The kid whose day it was to rip me off was a great worker, smart, etc...
I called the police and had him arrested. I was in tears. I hated doing that, but..... my food waste went to nearly zero immediatley. I had a number of my employees ask me to drop the charges. Nope.
Oddly, the rest of the family did not quit. But, I did not allow anything larger than a small backpack in the locker room after that. I also had cameras intalled at the exits.
What was most infuriating about that is that I had worked with my people to address food waste earlier. What I did was publish a policy making grazing, food theft, etc... an immediate termination offense with an immediate call to the Police. That was the stick. The carrot was that I provided each employee a free meal each shift they worked. I also gave them a free meal on their days off if they came in with a paying party of 4. The employee's meal was free, the rest of the meals were significantly discounted.
That took my food waste to nearly zero. Until the grocery shoppers started feeding their herd.
At that time there was a State law that was still on the books making livestock rustling a hanging offense. Rustling was defined as the theft of an animal or part of an animal. I had that added to our orientation training and a poster made that was by our back door. The poster had Yosemite Sam on it. I wanted to make a point in a somewhat lighthearted manner. Poor Sam was regularly abused and defaced by my burgeoning graffiti artists. I had a roll of the posters so when Sam got too trashed, I would replace the poster. One bite of food with animal product in it not paid for... hanging!!!! Not really of course.
I learned more about business management in the restaurant business than I did with my MBA. You can lose money in the restaurant/bar business in more ways and more quickly than anyone can immagine.
Part of that is when you let your heart override your brain. Add in a distinct element of ill breeding and dumbass (Chef) into the mix and it can get expensive in a hurry.
I'm not a fan of loans, would
I'm not a fan of loans, would rather gift the money if we can. $2k though is a lot to gift though. If there is to be a loan, I also prefer for things to be set out on paper and signed by all. Makes everything very clear and buisness like.
What confection was too much for Davey to get his wife??? I'm so sorry if Chef feels that getting a spouse their preferred confection will "spoil" them....wow ....
I just hope that you are funded
For your retirement. It's ok to give away money if you don't need it. [ like we all don't need it]. Just make sure first that you will be ok if something happens to Chef , or even not. You two retire. Will you have the money to live the life you want. Having a home, food, car, Before you fund ungrateful SI.
Im funded
I have a pension and SS. All my vehicles are paid for (all 4 of them) Chef sees himself as a "father figure" since he never got to parent his own (roll eyes) All my rentals are paid for as well.
I've spoken with Davey before. Never met his wife. He seems to be teaching his kids to work which is good but Davey has a bad habit of complaining how broke he is.
Funny my adult kids have never asked for money save one time when my daughter and son in law were truly struggling. They are now doing fine financially and have never asked for money since (19 yrs ago).
Loaning money to family and
Loaning money to family and friends just causes heartache. Once a wise man told me, if family or friends ask you for money to pay it back to you and you are willing to give it to them, see it as a gift, becasue the expectation of getting it back might crush your heart when you realize they will not pay you and they treat you like the enemy.
WTH?
WTH?
I could not deal with this,
Nor would I.
I remembering borrowing money from my parents when I was a very young adult. I wrote up my own promissory note outlining my repayment plan to a T. My parents did not ask for one ---I just knew it was the right thing to do.
I would have been embarrassed and mortified if I didn't pay back every cent.
What is UP with Chef thinking your an ass expecting repayment. ----Just how close are they????
Davey isn't a surrogate skid---he is a mooch.
Stop thinking they are surrogate skids.
jmo----
Chef will be generous with
Chef will be generous with Davey up until he runs out of your money. So, make that happen quick.
Take care of you.
In turn would probably be up
In turn would probably be up in arms if you did something along those lines for someone.
SO use to compare what I did for someone that worked for me... he had a crappy upbringing...I tried being a "role model" and gave him honest advice etc. Bought him a gift for his bday and Xmas... no one ever got the kid anything (he is 8 years younger then me) a lot more to this story... and he was extremely grateful for everything I did for him.
SO would get almost mad at me for helping the kid but apparently I was just accept mainly SS20 treating my like a bag of sh*t while contributing to his life too... makes sense!