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Recent Blog Posts
First of all, Happy New Year to everyone.
This one has started shitty already...
SS9 was with us for Xmas eve, the next morning he was returned to his aunt (bm wasnt there as far as I could tell), and he only agreed to that because ofcourse, he would be getting more presents. Whatever. We decided we would spend new year night alone anyway even though bm tried to push the kid at us numerous times.
I found this site out of complete frustration of being a SM. I have a two-yr old of my own and an almost 11 yo SS. J and I have been together for 5 yrs and I just cant seem to bond w that kid. He just annoys me- everything he does just bugs. To be more specific- Ive been asking him for going on a yr now to have his bed made, teeth brushed, and clothes on by 0900 and he just still doesn't do it. I asked him all quarter how he was doing in school and he would always say good. brought home D's and 9 tardies. These things are silly to some extent...
At the end of last year my ss got himself in some bad trouble, Dec 30th he had pre trial for some charges. Of course he more less got a slap on the wrist for really bad charges (3rd degree felony). He's got 12 months on probation, which mean we are all grounded. Not a big deal to me. He's not in school, they with him cause he wasnt showing up. ?his probation officer told him he's got to get re-enrolled in school or get into a ged program and have a full time job, he's 16 he doesnt want to do anything but get high. His primary parent is with his father.
My SSs BM has had a disconnect with reality. Of course you can't reason with someone who doesn't understand that living with a drug-dealer is not a safe environment for her children. So we follow our court order so there's no questions. But today...
Well, loser ss17 drops out of high school because he is a lazy, unmotivated pothead who feels sorry for himself and has a big chip on his shoulder.
Well, DH says he is going to get his GED. So...great. I know BM will do NOTHING to help him get his GED so I order the GED Prep materials and manufacture a list of requirements and testing locations for the kid.
DH hits the ceiling and says I should have stayed out of it. He says I'm just going to bitch whenever ss doesn't get his GED.
I read a lot of your blogs on here and realize all the difficulties of being a stepmom. Now I am too a stepmom....never imagined I would be! But I grew up being a stepchild to an "evil" stepmom (as I would have put it for the first 18 years of my life). This is how I felt about her and why.
As stated above, this is something that only this weekend ive properly noticed. For a while now SD4 has been exhibiting some behaviour that the doctor thinks is due to SD being unhappy or even worse, some possible abuse. This behaviour has only taken place at BMs. Were either completely oblivious or SD is actually happy with us. Thankfully we have not been accused of the latter.
SD9 just got back from her BM's at 5am this morning and I got to be surprised by her mother walking right in the apartment and she started in chewing me out about how she's tired of DH accusing her of not providing anything for her DD (because she doesn't) but what has me truly irked is the nerve this woman had to walk into MY home uninvited at 5:00 in the morning!!!
So I am about to deploy for 1 year and I am so worried. Originally, I was worried about the skids and DH losing his temper and lashing out at them. NOW, I know they will be okay because I have some trust in DH (and his medication) and besides, he is going through a custody battle with BM so that would be stupid ... long story.
I am worried about DH. I am worried about US being able to sustain our marriage. A year is a long time, I don't care what anyone says.
I am a work in progress. Being married to an amazingly awesome cowboy is a miracle in my life after 23 years of domestic abuse from someone else. Each year, each day is another opportunity to marvel at the wonderful blessing my husband is, as well as our life together and everything in it. But it does not erase the past. It does not erase my hurt. The reality is that I have experienced what has been, and the result of that is my companion -often unwanted but persistent in presence.
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